Arbitrary Rules…

I just read this on Quora and really liked the lesson

RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.

When I was at one of my lowest (mental) points in life, I couldn’t get out of bed some days. I had no energy or motivation and was barely getting by. I had therapy once per week, and on this particular week I didn’t have much to ‘bring’ to the session. He asked how my week was and I really had nothing to say.“ What are you struggling with?” he asked. I gestured around me and said “I dunno man. Life.” Not satisfied with my answer, he said “No, what exactly are you worried about right now? What feels overwhelming? When you go home after this session, what issue will be staring at you? ”I knew the answer, but it was so ridiculous that I didn’t want to say it. I wanted to have something more substantial. Something more profound. But I didn’t. So I told him, “Honestly? The dishes. It’s stupid, I know, but the more I look at them the more I CAN’T do them because I’ll have to scrub them before I put them in the dishwasher, because the dishwasher sucks, and I just can’t stand and scrub the dishes. “I felt like an idiot even saying it. What kind of grown ass woman is undone by a stack of dishes? There are people out there with *actual* problems, and I’m whining to my therapist about dishes? But my therapist nodded in understanding and then said: “RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE.”I began to tell him that you’re not supposed to, but he stopped me. “Why the hell aren’t you supposed to? If you don’t want to scrub the dishes and your dishwasher sucks, run it twice. Run it three times, who cares?! Rules do not exist, so stop giving yourself rules. ”It blew my mind in a way that I don’t think I can properly express. That day, I went home and tossed my smelly dishes haphazardly into the dishwasher and ran it three times. I felt like I had conquered a dragon. The next day, I took a shower lying down. A few days later. I folded my laundry and put them wherever the fuck they fit. There were no longer arbitrary rules I had to follow, and it gave me the freedom to make accomplishments again. Now that I’m in a healthier place, I rinse off my dishes and put them in the dishwasher properly. I shower standing up. I sort my laundry. But at a time when living was a struggle instead of a blessing, I learned an incredibly important lesson: THERE ARE NO RULES. RUN THE DISHWASHER TWICE!!!

As I read this it really sunk in… we have all these ‘rules’ but who gave us these rules? It is like we read it somewhere or our parents told us this is how its suppose to be and now they are just imbedded in our heads.

I have always made a meal together with the family even if I had to make separate meals because the kids wouldn’t eat what I was making but I made it all together regardless last night, I made the kids dinner first then mine and my husbands later when he got home from work, It was amazing… I was able to eat my whole meal without being interrupted several times. And the best part was…. my dinner stayed warm the whole time I was eating it because I wasn’t getting up several times to help the kids!

We set the bar so high for us that, rules so high to follow that we just mentaly cannot take it anymore.

How about today you do something different, live on the wild side.. throw out some rules that you have been doing for many years for reasons you have no idea why but because you felt you HAD too…

Dishes need to be done right away after dinner…. why? the dishes will still be there later. Watch that show before the dishes get done…

Laundry cant pile up… why? The laundry will still be there later… read that book that you have been dying to read.

run the dish washer twice…. because life is too short. Stressing over these arbitrary rules…

Drink wine in the morning and coffee at night… 😉 rules….

Normalcy…

“The kids need some sort of normalcy. So that is why they need to go to school” This Is what I keep hearing… Okay cool, I get it, I honestly do. 

What kids see as a normal school year… school trips, seeing friends, hugging their friends that they haven’t seen in forever, hugging their teachers that they haven’t seen in forever, fun recesses, pizza days, milk days… a normal school year right? 

That’s not what’s going to happen when they go back this fall.  

What they are going to get is… 

No school trips… they can’t gather in groups to go on a fun trip somewhere and learn… it is not safe. It would be too much for the teachers to make sure no one touches anything, everyone washes their hands, not to mention the bus ride there?

No backpacks… Some schools are telling parents their kids are not allowed to wear backpacks, but lunch boxes are okay… so please enlighten me on how they are supposed to bring homework home? Or library books? Or projects back to school… you are telling me my kids will have to lug all this by hand? Including their lunch box? 

No normal recess… Some schools are making little circles for your kid to sit in and play outside… that means they have to stay in this circle alone… no playgrounds because it would be too much to clean… no playing with friends because you have to say 6 feet apart. 

Wearing a mask… This alone is not ‘normal’ I am not saying that people shouldn’t wear a mask, yes safety first… but can you honestly tell me that a child is going to want to wear a mask on their face all day?? Some schools say they can take the mask off in class? Okay, but doesn’t that defeat the purpose they are still around a teacher and other students? Can you honestly say that a kindergartner is going to wear this mask all day? Oh, you have to teach them that wearing a mask is important, well we have to teach them that picking their nose is bad but oh there is little jimmy digging for gold when no one is looking. 

No pizza or milk days… Yes, I get it, this one is a luxury, but some kids thrive for these days, these little incentives helps kids want to be at school. These little incentives kids get excited about. 

Bullies or the kids who think they are funny… What about the kids that don’t like teachers? Or bullies… what if a kid gets mad at the teacher and spits or coughs obnoxiously at them because they don’t want to listen? What about the bullies that will spit and cough and push or steal other people’s masks because they just don’t like your kid? Send them to the office? Well have you seen the office, it’s a tiny little space there is only so much space you can send a kid to wait for their parents to come and get them. 

No hugging or touching… No hugging has been a rule since the dawn of time for schools, but your child hasn’t seen their favourite teacher or their best friend and god knows how long, you’re telling me that they are not going to want to hug them? “Omg Stacy I haven’t seen you in forever!” *big hug* nope, not allowed that… No touchy. 

Cleaning… There has been back and forth with this one… one day it was closing every Wednesday so they can do a big clean, then its kids have to go back to school 5 days a week and they will have to clean at night… then it’s the kids and teachers have to clean… because that sounds safe to me and not like the teachers don’t have enough to do. 

And that’s is me just hitting a few things… These things are not normal. The kids will not have a normal school year. I get that some parents cannot afford to not to go work… I get that. But please stop telling me that kids need some normalcy and put going back to school on that list because I promise you it will NOT be normal for them… it will cause them 10 times more stress then you think.  

Do I have all the answers to make sure everyone is happy with that choice in how schools will be? No. 

Can I help you make the choice to if you should allow your kids back to school? No. Every family is different, you make the choice what sees fit for your family.

Is there one option better than the other? No. You are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. Sending your kids to school you are possibly sending your kids into an unsafe environment, keeping your kids home they are not getting the socialization, but even if you do send them I doubt socialization would happen anyways.  

Parenting right now, in this pandemic is a dumpster fire. There seems to be no right choices on how to do things. There is no parenting book on “How to raise your kids in a pandemic” We are all losing our minds here and brains are hurting, from overthinking our overthinking, trying to figure out the best plan for our kids. There seems to not be enough wine or coffee to fix things.

Just breathe. We can get through this.

I’m a okay mom and I am okay with that.

The standards of how a mother is supposed to be, act, what she is supposed to do, how much is she supposed to do are fucking high and I am done. 

Lately, I have been getting bombarded with all these outrageous expectations from people, these expectations are so high, that it would be like high jumping over the CN Tower without getting the point stuck in your ass. Not going to happen. 

I want to know why do we have to be so ‘Perfect’ Why can’t we just be a okay mom. That okay mom still gets the job done. Yeah maybe we aren’t baking the perfect cake with fondant roses, but the kids are happy, healthy, clothed and bellies are super full. Why can’t that be enough? Why can’t we ever be enough? 

If COVID has taught me anything, that it is okay to not have your shit together. That pile of shit is YOUR shit. Not grandmas, not your moms, not Sindy from up the street. It’s your shit. So however you want to deal with that stinky pile of shit, do it at your own pace. 

Potty training it’s fucking hard. Trying to figure out the cues of when they need to go, setting timers, wondering why everything is wet… did he seriously pee on the new toilet paper roll? If your little man wants to go pee on a tree then the scary porcelain monster, let him. Honestly in my book that’s a damn win! Potty training is not an overnight thing, you cannot snap your fingers like Thanos and make all your potty training woos vanish like dust. It takes time and it also has to do with your child.

So your child hasn’t conquered online learning, that is okay. Us parents were just thrown into the role of being a teacher. Let’s be honest here, a child’s home was not meant to be their school as well, trying to get them to sit down for more than 5 seconds is a damn chore on its own. If you can get them to do 1 math sheet or write their name on paper 5 times. YOU are winning. 

Okay, so you totally forgot to change your laundry over, throw that laundry in the dryer with 17 bounce sheets and away you go. The laundry will always be there, it is like that clingy boyfriend in high school that is just lurking in every corner. If you want to put up your feet and read that book you have been putting off and drink some wine. Girl doo it! That laundry will still be waiting for you to write that love letter back. 

Dishes, dishes, dishes. I used to get mad when men “let the dishes soak” but now that I am a mom and the kids for some reason, they have to get a new plate or cup for every piece of food they ever eat. I swear one half of the peanut butter sandwich goes on one plate, the other half on another. Then we have grapes on a brand new plate and so on. For every sip, they have to get a new cup, and oh man DO NOT give your toddler a colour they don’t want. I let them sit for a bit. Because you know why… fuck it! 

I am done. 

My kids are kind (not so much to their siblings WWF up in here). My kids know their manours, (Sometimes they only say it when they really want something) but they know them. My kids are thriving in school (they might not be the next rocket scientist yet) but they are doing okay and that is all I should ask of them. Is for them to do their best. The more we put pressure on them the more they push away. I want my kids to enjoy learning. 

I am done caring what other people think. I know, I am doing okay.  The kids are not going to remember how much laundry you did, or when you did the dishes. They are not going to remember that one day you swept the dirt under the rug. They are going to remember who was there always and that was YOU. 

So say it with me, I AM DONE. 

I am done listening to everyone tell me how I am supposed to be. 

I am done listening to everyone tell me how I am supposed to do everything. 

I am done caring what people think of me. Rock that hot mess mama all the way to town. 

I am done. 

Yes, some people are not going to like it. They are going to bitch. Let them. Once you start to not give a shit. That is when you can breathe.

Dear laundry,

I have noticed you are always here lurking in the shadows.

You tend to spread throughout the house. 

You are on the floor in the bedrooms.

You are on the floor in the living room. 

Sometimes, and I mean rarely do you actually make it to the basket. 

Sometimes you are clean and end up back in the laundry room. 

You are always losing your sock partner, it’s like you don’t even care.  

I feel like you are using me, to pick you up and clean you. You can’t even be bothered to change yourself to the drier. 

You pile up so quickly, I feel like I can’t breath! 

I feel suffocated! 

I constantly have to fold you and put you away. 

Sometimes I find you hanging halfway out the dresser.

So today I have decided that we are breaking up. 

I am going to enjoy this cup of coffee, while you lay throughout the house.

I’m going to pretend you are not here later and enjoy a glass of wine. 

I am not sorry, I don’t care about your feelings. You clearly don’t care about mine. 

I bid my farewell laundry.

 Today you do not exist! 

SPAGHETTI stuffed peppers

Lately I have been feeling like I am making the same things over and over again. I decided that I wanted to try something really different that I have never made before.

We had left over spaghetti in the fridge from my mothers day dinner and it was amazing. So I wanted to add that to the dinner but to what?

As I am standing in the fridge I saw the peppers and a light bulb went off in my head! Hmmm spaghetti stuffed peppers? Why not!

Cook the spaghetti the way you like it, How we do ours is;

In a large pot of boiling salted water, cook the pasta according to the directions on the package. Drain set aside.

In a large skillet heat up and add some oil, about a teaspoon. Add chopped up onion. Cook the onion until soft. Then stir in garlic. Then add the ground beef. (Or turkey, or chicken) Break up the meat with a wooden spoon. Cook until the meat is no longer pink.

You can even add crushed up tomatoes to this one, that is also good!

Take off the heat and add the cooked pasta.

Take the oil and drizzle on the bottom of the baking sheet. Cut the peppers in half and add them to the baking sheet. Drizzle the peppers with more oil. Put some salt and pepper on top of the peppers. Then fill the peppers with the spaghetti and add some grated cheese on top.

Bake that for 20 minutes, in a preheated oven at 400 and until the cheese has nicely melted on top.

Tasted amazing!! Even more so with a glass of wine !!

Ingredients

Cooking spray, for pan
1/2 lb. spaghetti
4 bell peppers, halved and cored
2 tbsp. olive oil, divided
1/2 large onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 lb. ground beef
1 tsp. dried oregano
salt
pepper
Crushed tomatoes
1/2 c. grated Parmesan
1 1/2 c. shredded mozzarella

Pros and cons of breastfeeding & formula feeding

Well it’s May and it snowed. Yesterday we were all thinking about what to plant in our gardens and today we are shoveling snow. Can we just all say 2020 is a wash? I guess only time can tell.

There are still some controversial debates going around and have been around for many years. Since the internet has been such a big thing for awhile now, these debates have been massive. One of the big ones are breastfeeding vs formula fed.

Let me start off by saying I did both for my kids. My first child I am not sure why I was just not producing enough and had to do both. My second child I was producing a lot, but he was just so hungry I could not keep up with the demand and had to do both. With my last I did a little bit when I found out that he was allergic to dairy products and had to get it out of my system so that he could breastfeed properly without getting and upset tummy.

There are a lot of reasons you choose to do either. You are not able to produce, you feel like formula is too expensive or you need to do both.

There is a lot of breastfed is best and fed is best, but I want to dive into each one and look at their pros and cons.

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Breastfeeding

Pros

Natures natural baby food. If you are able to exclusively breastfeed your child, that is amazing good on you! Breastfeeding is really hard. Cracked nipples, biting and sore boobs come with it. It also comes with the boding experience with your child.

Breast milk comes with the immunity building antibodies. It is believed that scientist have yet to make that exact formula to put into anything else. Breast milk is full of vitamins and protein and fat a perfect blend to help your child grow. This formula helps your baby fight off virus’s and bacteria. Breast milk also helps your child lower the risk of allergies as well. There are some tests saying that it highers your IQ but I know some adults that are extremely smart that have been formula fed and are doing just fine, so I am not 100% behind this one.

There are even some benefits for the mother when breastfeeding. Burning calories it releases hormone Oxycontin. This helps your uterus go back to its normal size. They also say it lowers your risk of breast and ovarian cancer.

It does also save your money. Since you don’t have to buy formula and bottles and nipples.

There is more ease and convenience to breastfeeding. You are able to feed your child anywhere, no need to warm up a bottle or make preparations before leaving the house.

Cons

I know I can hear you saying, there are no cons of breastfeeding but I promise you there are pros and cons to mostly everything.

Some mothers and children just get it right off the bat with breastfeeding and just ease into it like they have been doing it for awhile. There are some that it takes long to master and there might be some barriers in the way that make it difficult to do so.

Issues with milk supply which I did. I had both way too high and way too low. Cracked and sore nipples. I use to cringe when mine would latch it was so painful. The pain level was up there with having 3 c-sections it was terrible.

Adjusting your sleeping schedule to your babies feeding schedule can be difficult, the constant demand of caring for your baby and yourself, it can be extremely challenging.

Your baby is attached to you, all the time. You are the the supplier of food. Woman may feel like they are loosing themselves. Body image, sex life and self-esteem issues.

Right now, more and more stores are making it easier for moms to breastfeed their kids but some places still struggle with that, even more in the work place environment. It can be difficult to still breastfeed in public. When you are at your friends house and they don’t have kids yet, mothers may feel the judgement of it.

Your spouse or partner will not get that bond feeding their child, and the mom may feel the lack for support when it comes to the child in that aspect.

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Formula feeding

Pros

You can buy your supply. A lot of woman including me for my first child you struggle with producing milk, sometimes you may produce a little and some can’t produce any. The convenience of being able to go out and buy more when you run out.

Having time to yourself to get your body back, with the fact that you can make a bottle and get someone to help you feed your child you can have a minute in the shower, or at least brush you hair. You can drink that bottle of wine no problem and just lush yourself.

You don’t have the nipple pain, you may experience some enlargement pain while you body dries up the supply but that will go away in do time.

Your spouse and even your parents will get the shared experience with your child. That amazing closeness and bond that you get when feeding your child, you can share that with your other have. You are able to get some well needed sleep that you longed for.

No lopsided boob. This was a big issue for me when I was breastfeeding. My kids would rather one side over the other and then the nipple pain was more on one side so I tended to use one side over the other, which made one boob bigger than the other.

Those weird pads that you put in your bra, the ones that make you look like you have a third nipple, you wont have to use those because no leaky boob!

Con

It can get expensive. Depending on what type of formula that you want to buy for your child or what type of formula that your child needs. For example for sensitive tummies.

The judgement you might get do to the fact that you are not breastfeeding. Even more so from your parents or your grandparents. When you go out for dinner and you order that glass of wine, people will be looking at you with your baby beside you “wow are you still breastfeeding and drinking” then you tell them “no I formula feed” then the judgement gets worse “how dare you not breastfeed your baby”

You may not burn the calories that you would if you were breastfeeding, with breastfeeding your body helps you do some of the work.

Dishes Dishes Dishes… Okay we all hate doing them, sometimes I feel like just throwing out all the dishes and using paper everything, but yes… washing all the bottles and the nipples and all the things that come along with it that you need to wash.

You know that amazing smell, when you open a coffee can for the first time and it hits you like amazing pot of gold. Yeah that won’t happen with formula the smell alone is just I don’t even know how to explain it. It stinks.

Pro for both

YOUR BABY IS FED!

As a mother finding what is best for both you and your baby is hard. All the judgement and all the info that get’s crammed in your face can be alarming. The right choice is what is best for you and your family. Talk to your doctor or health care provider and talk with your spouse. You shouldn’t have to feel you are alone in making this decision.

Homeschooling

Day 56…

Every week my youngest who is in JK, the teacher will do a student of the week. Who has been working really hard online. Getting all their work done. They get a trophy with their names on it and a “Huge awesome work” from their teachers

Don’t get me wrong I love seeing other little ones working hard, but for me it’s a reminder that mine are struggling.

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Now I do understand that their work is not being marked. This is just to keep their brains fresh. Every time I read it I get a knot in my stomach.

It’s a reminder that I am not doing my 100%. It ‘s a reminder that all these other parents are doing an amazing job at this home schooling thing and I am over here behind.

My son throws a huge tantrum every time he has to do work. Of course why would he want to he’s at home, we don’t do school work at home and even though we have been at this for awhile. He still does not want to do it.

Every now and then he will want to do something, I have done everything I could possible to get him to do it. He is just not feeling it.

Honestly I don’t think any parent has really mastered this. It is knew to everyone. Knew to the parents, knew to the kids, knew to the teachers. This is a big step in learning and we are all struggling.

We have to make sure that we are not getting lost in the due dates, and the marks, and the other parents getting more done then you are. Kids all work at different paces and different emotions. We have to take all this with a grain of salt and day by day.

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Most parents are stressed about all this. Most parents are saying they have no idea what they are doing and trying to do their best. Kids just want to be home and play, not do work.

We are all being forced to be teachers and parents at the same time and kids just don’t understand why they have to because they are not at school.

Take it day by day. If you made it through the day then you did it! If your child did ONE thing on the computer then you did it! They did it!

I think we all need to stop being so hard on ourselves, we need to stop comparing ourselves to other parents and our kids to their kids. We are not all the same.

Keep rocking this mom life, drink some coffee, drink some wine. Rock that shit!

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Wine Wednesday’s isn’t just for drinking wine.

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I am sure everyone has heard of “Wine Wednesday” at some point in their lives and what is the first thing that pops in your mind. A day for drinking wine. Even though let’s be honest here I drink wine any day of the week, more so right now, since we have the time. Not shuffling off the sporting events or after school programs.

It is not just a day to drink wine for moms. Heck you don’t even have to drink wine to enjoy this day with your friends. I am sure i’m not alone in this but sometimes we feel like all we are, is a mom. Trying to have a conversation with a tiny version of ourselves every day, all day. It can get a little repetitive. Yes, we love those little turds like no other but sometimes adult conversation is nice. Hey, even if you bring the kids along then all the other kids can play together while you sit and chat about some other then “You need to wipe your bum” “Please do not sit on your sisters head” “There is tons of air in this room, you both can breathe it”

Not only does this help you have some socialization it also helps the kids too, all the kids playing together, tiring each other out and bam bedtime gets just a little easier. I know with everything going on right now its hard to get together with your friends. Why not have face-time or skype or whatever video call platform you are using and sit together on your decks and have that bottle of wine.

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Wednesday proven by Science is one of the best times to drink wine, according to bottlers Cobevco. They said its because Wednesday is the half way mark to the end of the week and everyone just feels more comfortable popping open that cork. Believe it or not but men are actually more likely then woman to open the cork at 6:40 pm and woman at 7pm. Probably because the kids become thirsty philosophers and refuse to go to bed on time.

According to medical news society, wine has a lot of health benefits to it. One bottle a day keeps the doctor away? no? It could work. There was a study done in 2018 although wine is not actually recommended for these things but the study showed that drinking wine moderately has some positive outcomes like,

  • cardiovascular disease
  • atherosclerosis
  • hypertension
  • certain types of cancer
  • type 2 diabetes
  • neurological disorders
  • metabolic syndrome

Red wine has anti inflammatory properties in it as well as antioxidant.

So grab that wine glass or bottle. I am not judging and bottoms up! You mama deserve it!

Being a perfect parent is overrated

When I had my first child, I had it in my head that I was going to do everything right. I was going to buy her all name brand clothes, I was going to do all organic foods or even make all my own baby foods in the jars with the perfect little labels and dates. Honestly I tried my hardest to do all those things. Life got in the way of that. I got lost in the trying to make a sweet, crying every night baby happy. Waking up several times at night to breastfeed, that I was way too tired to even think about baby food or jars. Sometimes I was way too tired to even remember if I ate that day. 

I read all the baby books you can think of. Googled everything under the sun. All great books, but nothing can prepare you fully at becoming a mother. At this point it is really “How to keep your child alive without fully losing your damn mind in the process” which scared the crap out of me because I could barely keep a houseplant alive how can I keep a tiny version of myself alive. 

Second child came and I was more laid back. I came to the conclusion that all name brand clothing was just not going to happen. They grow like weeds. I swear they grow every time they put one scoop of food in their mouths. Side note: WHY ARE THEY ALWAYS HUNGRY!

My kids food schedule;

Snack, breakfast, breakfast snack, snack, lunch, lunch snack, snack, sometimes too full to eat dinner, complains they didn’t have dinner, dinner, dinner snack, snack, bedtime snack, snack… thinking about food while they are sleeping… Repeat.  

Third child, at this point he’s like a free range chicken. I have been there and done that and bought a t-shirt. To say that I am a pro at parenting no, because I don’t think that is even a thing. What I can say is that I do know the just of it. I am not trying to be that perfect parent that I set out to be because it does not exist. 

There are so many rules. What you can and cannot do as a parent. So much judgement out there. What grinds my gears is the parents shaming parents. Kids eating cold french fries off  the car floor HAPPENS. You will be driving and hear “Cold french fries taste yummy mommy” while they fish for that fry that you missed out of their car seat. They will stand at the big bay window in the living room and wave to your neighbor butt naked, with a shirt on their head because they are like ninjas and sneak away while you are finding something for them to wear. They will fart in a restaurant while the waiter is asking what would you like on the menu.

They will become a thirsty, hungry philosopher at bedtime, because they refuse to go to sleep. JUST in case they miss something. Nope all they will miss is me eating a whole cheese cake with a fork, binge watching grey’s anatomy.

All these things do NOT and I will repeat. DO NOT make you a bad parent.  It makes you a real one. Stuff happens. Kids have no filters. They are these balls of stressful, wonderful joys. That will make you wonder about every life choice you made. There is no way to be a perfect parent because I promise you, your kids won’t let that happen and it does not exist. 

One thing I do know. Is that you are perfect for them. They want you. Every little piece of you. While you are in the kitchen getting them several snacks. While you are in the laundry room changing the laundry over that you smell because you totally forgot to change the laundry over. Banging on the bathroom door because all of a sudden they have several questions and fruit snacks for you to open. 

They just want YOU. So rock that perfect imperfect parenting. We are all in this together.

Easter… We have got this!

As Easter approaches I find myself unsure of how I feel. I am excited to still be able to watch my kids hunt for Easter eggs, because thankfully our bulk barn did online pick up, at the same time I find myself a little sad.

I am sad that I wasn’t able to get the ‘Extras” new books, or skipping ropes and bubbles. Normally I like to get them some sort of outside toy to celebrate spring time. It is in the back of my head that I feel I am failing as a mother because I can’t get the things that I normally can, but at the same time I know that I am doing the best I can in this new world that we are living in right now.

I am sad that we wont be able to do our big family dinners that we normally do with the extended family. Dinner at my moms with the big turkey and the big Easter egg hunt that she puts on every year for the kids. My dad’s where he always gets them so much outdoor toys to keep them entertained for the spring and summer. My grandma where her hugs can cure anything I swear.

I am sad that when my youngest keeps asking “Why can’t we go see them for just a minute” “I promise I wont get close to them” then I have to continue to remind him that we just simply can’t right now and explain to a 4 year old, who really doesn’t understand how a virus works.

I am sad that all my kids birthdays will be effected from this virus and there is nothing I can do about it. I can’t stop it. I can’t say “go away, so that my babies can have their birthdays” I am going to do my hardest to make sure that they have the best birthdays under the circumstances but I know that it just wont be the same. Bowling and space dance parties without their friends.

I am sad that I canceled on friends before this because I would give anything to see them right now, I need them.

As parents, we are going to have to figure out how to adapt to the world that is falling apart due to a virus that is just taking over the world. As parents we have to make sure that we protect our kids physically and mentally, but well let’s face it we have no idea what really is going on ourselves. We have to at the same time protect ourselves physically and mentally in order to protect them.

Stay positive

I get it, trust me it is really hard to stay positive when you are so scared yourself. Not to mention your kids driving you up the wall and back down again. Thinking about how a cabin in the woods, just you and nature would feel right about now. I find what work’s best here is using my words wisely and they will more then likely work… so instead of saying “Ugh, stop making such a mess” say “Can you please pick up your toys” They are just as stressed as you are. Their tiny lives have been flipped upside down too. Yelling at them will just make you upset and them upset and everyone’s crying and stressed.

Structure

Everything is up in the air right now, and no one know when this will end. Letting everyone just go hog wild in the house for months, is just going to cause everyone to be a hot mess and you drinking out of the wine bottle. I know as parents, moms. We want to sleep in. We dream about more sleep. I found if I set my alarm got up and had my coffee before the mayhem started I have a better day. I have started to get my body back to normal routines. Get your kids up, have breakfast, their showers and their school work. Have their meal times and bedtime routines as normal. Children have a healthier life with a structured life.

Behaviour

Kids are going to be testing our patience a lot more during this time. They know what set’s us off. I get that this time is stressful for them, but at the same time we need to make sure that they know that their behavior is now okay. We have always been their teachers even while they were in school. We need to make sure that they grow up to be respectful human beings. Consequences help teach our children responsibility for what they do. We will hear a lot of “You aren’t my teacher, I don’t need to learn that” they will have more break downs because they are stressed and are still learning how to use their emotions. Small body big emotions. Teach them how to express themselves and let us know whats going on in their little minds because negative outbursts.

Always take a minute for yourself. If you feel like screaming, if you feel like you are about to loose your cool. Go take a minute. Breathe. and come back to it.

You are not alone

Millions of parents out there are trying to figure this out too. Contact your mommy friends and vent to them. Tell them “Girl ima sell these kids to the zoo” I am 100% sure they will agree and say “maybe they will do a deal with more kids, I will drop mine off too” go on some mommy support groups.
Take a break. When the kids are asleep. Have that nice relaxing bath. Go sit outside with a book. Avoid social media with all those news outlets, people sharing all these things about the virus that is sending your blood pressure out the window. You need to separate yourselves from hearing about it all together to settle, to destress.

Talk to your kids about it

I know we are all trying to figure it out. We don’t know whats going on either. Your kids look to you for safety and reassurance that everything will be okay and that everything one day will go back to some what of a normal life. Being silent and not talking about it does not help your child. Listen to their questions and answer them to the best of your ability. Ask them open questions about how they are feeling about this whole situation. If they don’t feel like talking about it, that’s okay. Just let them know that you are here when they feel like talking.

We are all in this together. We can get through this, I know it. It is after 6 so it is time for wine!

Cheers parents, Stay safe, we have got this!