Easter… We have got this!

As Easter approaches I find myself unsure of how I feel. I am excited to still be able to watch my kids hunt for Easter eggs, because thankfully our bulk barn did online pick up, at the same time I find myself a little sad.

I am sad that I wasn’t able to get the ‘Extras” new books, or skipping ropes and bubbles. Normally I like to get them some sort of outside toy to celebrate spring time. It is in the back of my head that I feel I am failing as a mother because I can’t get the things that I normally can, but at the same time I know that I am doing the best I can in this new world that we are living in right now.

I am sad that we wont be able to do our big family dinners that we normally do with the extended family. Dinner at my moms with the big turkey and the big Easter egg hunt that she puts on every year for the kids. My dad’s where he always gets them so much outdoor toys to keep them entertained for the spring and summer. My grandma where her hugs can cure anything I swear.

I am sad that when my youngest keeps asking “Why can’t we go see them for just a minute” “I promise I wont get close to them” then I have to continue to remind him that we just simply can’t right now and explain to a 4 year old, who really doesn’t understand how a virus works.

I am sad that all my kids birthdays will be effected from this virus and there is nothing I can do about it. I can’t stop it. I can’t say “go away, so that my babies can have their birthdays” I am going to do my hardest to make sure that they have the best birthdays under the circumstances but I know that it just wont be the same. Bowling and space dance parties without their friends.

I am sad that I canceled on friends before this because I would give anything to see them right now, I need them.

As parents, we are going to have to figure out how to adapt to the world that is falling apart due to a virus that is just taking over the world. As parents we have to make sure that we protect our kids physically and mentally, but well let’s face it we have no idea what really is going on ourselves. We have to at the same time protect ourselves physically and mentally in order to protect them.

Stay positive

I get it, trust me it is really hard to stay positive when you are so scared yourself. Not to mention your kids driving you up the wall and back down again. Thinking about how a cabin in the woods, just you and nature would feel right about now. I find what work’s best here is using my words wisely and they will more then likely work… so instead of saying “Ugh, stop making such a mess” say “Can you please pick up your toys” They are just as stressed as you are. Their tiny lives have been flipped upside down too. Yelling at them will just make you upset and them upset and everyone’s crying and stressed.

Structure

Everything is up in the air right now, and no one know when this will end. Letting everyone just go hog wild in the house for months, is just going to cause everyone to be a hot mess and you drinking out of the wine bottle. I know as parents, moms. We want to sleep in. We dream about more sleep. I found if I set my alarm got up and had my coffee before the mayhem started I have a better day. I have started to get my body back to normal routines. Get your kids up, have breakfast, their showers and their school work. Have their meal times and bedtime routines as normal. Children have a healthier life with a structured life.

Behaviour

Kids are going to be testing our patience a lot more during this time. They know what set’s us off. I get that this time is stressful for them, but at the same time we need to make sure that they know that their behavior is now okay. We have always been their teachers even while they were in school. We need to make sure that they grow up to be respectful human beings. Consequences help teach our children responsibility for what they do. We will hear a lot of “You aren’t my teacher, I don’t need to learn that” they will have more break downs because they are stressed and are still learning how to use their emotions. Small body big emotions. Teach them how to express themselves and let us know whats going on in their little minds because negative outbursts.

Always take a minute for yourself. If you feel like screaming, if you feel like you are about to loose your cool. Go take a minute. Breathe. and come back to it.

You are not alone

Millions of parents out there are trying to figure this out too. Contact your mommy friends and vent to them. Tell them “Girl ima sell these kids to the zoo” I am 100% sure they will agree and say “maybe they will do a deal with more kids, I will drop mine off too” go on some mommy support groups.
Take a break. When the kids are asleep. Have that nice relaxing bath. Go sit outside with a book. Avoid social media with all those news outlets, people sharing all these things about the virus that is sending your blood pressure out the window. You need to separate yourselves from hearing about it all together to settle, to destress.

Talk to your kids about it

I know we are all trying to figure it out. We don’t know whats going on either. Your kids look to you for safety and reassurance that everything will be okay and that everything one day will go back to some what of a normal life. Being silent and not talking about it does not help your child. Listen to their questions and answer them to the best of your ability. Ask them open questions about how they are feeling about this whole situation. If they don’t feel like talking about it, that’s okay. Just let them know that you are here when they feel like talking.

We are all in this together. We can get through this, I know it. It is after 6 so it is time for wine!

Cheers parents, Stay safe, we have got this!

We struggle…but weve got this

Motherhood is challenging…

We struggling with what we think is the right way to handle a situation…

We struggling with thinking are we doing everything right….

We struggle with our babies or child sleep schedule…

We struggle with our child’s tantrums….

But the thing is we get through it… We are strong, capable human beings. Even those there are plenty of days where we think we are not rocking it. We are.

We wake up in the middle of the night to feed our babies, changing diapers at 2am, 3am, 4am… Without batting an eye…

We carry a human being inside of us! And we continue to do day to day things. Some of us even care for our other children while our body is so overworked that its running on low but we do it…

We get up, get the kids bathed, dressed, fed and lunches then out the door to the bussed or to school on time, all while staying up late making sure that 22 kids in their class get their treats for the party that your child told you at the last minute they needed…

We cook, we clean, solve crimes like find the missing stuffed animal while your kid has a melt down in the corner…

Constantly being told you’re doing it wrong but so many people because you didn’t do it the way they want you too or the way they would do it, but you hold it together because your tiny humans are depending on you.

Making sure their teeth are brushed, clothes are washed and homework is done….

Even if its big or small we are getting it done. You should feel proud of yourself no matter what. Because parenting is tough. We struggle. But we win every day… Because those smiles and i love you’s make everything worth it.

Dear Husband,

Sometimes I feel like you get the worst of me.
Sometimes I feel like you might not recognize me anymore.

By the time you get home, I am beyond frustrated with the kids. With them not listening, hitting me, making messes that I am constantly picking up or telling them to pick up. Sometimes I am mad at myself because I didn’t get all the things I wanted to get done for the day. Honestly there just is not enough time in the day. Sometimes I am so frustrated and upset that if I don’t let it out when you get home i might explode. For that I am sorry, you become my target.

You come home from a long day at work, providing for us, at a job that your boss is just so frustrating and you come home to me upset, and mad and storming around. Come home to me demanding the kids go to you instead of me. You come home to me almost in tears because I have tried my best to get the house clean.

When they finally get to sleep, I am running around trying to get the things done that I was just not able to when they were awake, because they are constantly asking me to do this, open this, can you look at this. I get your lunches ready for work, and I get our dinner ready if you came home late. You do your best to stay awake when I try and get the last minute things done so that I am able to some what sleep without stressing that I missed something.

When I finally get to lay down and just close my eyes you try and cuddle and I jerk away “I just need to not be touched for one minute so I can fall asleep”

Or when you call and you are on your way home and you nicely ask “Babe do we need anything?” and I answer the question in a angry tone because I just can’t hold in my frustrations of our son demanding that I hold him while I try and get things done.

You ask me nicely “whats for dinner” and I snap “I have no idea, I will figure it out” When just before you asked me I had to deal with our son asking 2390482039482 times whats for dinner and my frustrations just got sent to you.

I don’t mean to, but you often get the worst of me, the left overs of my very frustrating day. Because honestly all my patience and strength has been used up by the kids. Because honestly motherhood uses so much of my time, and of my brain that I have no idea how to even shut it off at this point and it leaves me with nothing else for anyone else.

But you will always be the one that I loved first. I know you are worried to come home because you dont know what kind of mood I will be in, but if you continue to love me and I love you, showing our kids that we love each other no matter what, will give our kids a sense of security.

So I promise I will do my best to leave room for you at the end of the day, I will do my best to leave some joy and love and patience.

By the time you get home sometimes my affection is just spent. From giving hugs and kisses, and talking to the kids about how their day went. Make sure all of them are doing good. That by the time you get it, I just dont feel like being touched, I just need a minute without human contact. Please dont give up on me, I need you so much, I need your kisses and affection too.

I am sorry that you get snapped on because I have held it in so much during the day so that I don’t blow up on the kids, that you end up getting the snarky comments. So please continue to love me no matter what.

I do think it is time we get some alone time, some time away, what do you think?

I know sometimes, I bottle things up and take the world on my shoulders and I know that you are here to take some of that burden. But please know that I couldn’t do any of this without you.

Watching you ever day, play with the kids, Hold our son for the first time and the love in your eyes every day. You keep me grounded. You keep me from completely loosing my mind at the end of the day because I know no matter what you will walk through those doors, and I feel like I can breath again… I count down till the time you walk through those doors.

So I know that you don’t always get the best of me, but I hope that you will always remember that I loved you first and always will.