Dear new mom,

Right now, everything seems so overwhelming. You may think you have no idea what you are doing. You might even be questioning every move you make. You know what is best for your family. For your new baby. 

I promise you, that none of us have it together. We might look like we do on the outside. We might look like we do in all of our social media outlets, but what you don’t see in the picture is the toys that are scattered all over the floor that we have already picked up a thousand times. What you don’t see is a few seconds before that picture one of our kids just ate cheerios off the floor. Some of us might look like we have it all together, but on the inside, we are losing it. 

I promise you, that all that worrying is normal. No matter what age your children are. We are always worrying about them. If we are doing the right thing. If we are doing enough. Are they getting enough food? Are they learning enough in school? Worrying means that we care. We all want what is best for our children. 

I promise you, that we are all struggling. Struggling is a big part of parenting. It is a learning experience every step of the way. Babies bring new changes that we didn’t even know were possible. As kids grow up, they are new challenges every day. Family and friends and strangers will judge your parenting choices, but they are YOUR choices. What works for their family might not work for yours and that’s okay. They all mean well then they give you parenting advice, they really do. Sometimes it comes off as pushy, or judgment. Follow your gut. 

Being a mom for 11 years I have gone through a fair share of struggles myself. I have learned a lot of lessons, I have made some mistakes, but my kids are doing great. I have learned that I can still do this even on the little sleep that I get. 

Motherhood is intense, it can be really hard sometimes, but it makes you stronger. It makes you realize that you are capable of so much more than you ever thought was possible. There will be times where you have reached your limits. There will be times that your heart explodes with so much love and happiness. 

Just know that you are not alone. That we have all been there. Cry if you need to, ask for help if you need it. 

Motherhood is not easy, but you’ve got this!

Our Tribe… Our Village

I am going to be complete honest here, which I am in all my blog post. I will be the first one to let your child know they are being an ass. Well not in those words but I would tell your child the way he or she is being is not cool.

If I see your child bullying another child or my child I will let them know what is what, and that their behavior is not okay.

If your child went outside without a coat on, I would tell them to put on a coat and make smart choices.

If your child is struggling with something and I notice I will ask them what is wrong and I will be a shoulder to lean on.

If you and your child are fighting, even if its a silly fight but they feel strongly about, I will tell them to come over and be here to give you and them some space.

Why? Because it takes a village to raise the kids.

Once upon a time it was OKAY for other people to correct your kids behavior.

Once upon a time it was OKAY for other people to give a lending hand when you are not around in that moment and they are.

Once upon a time it was OKAY for other people to be there for your kids when your kids are having a tough time with you.

If my kids are being jackasses and I am not around, I want you to be able to let them know whats what and that behavior is not okay!

This isn’t about parenting other peoples kids. I am not here to take your place. Trust me 4 kids is enough for me over here. It is about us raising our future together, its about us making sure that there is a future. It’s about us raising our kids to be one day well behaved adults. This is not me bulling your child when they are doing something wrong, this is me helping.

Yes, everyone helping each other raise the kids, is a little odd to some, but that never was the case back then. Some how it got lost in translation as we grew up. I personally think that we should go back to those ways. Because yes we cant be around our kids 24 7 but other people are. Other moms are. So why can’t we all stick together and raise our kids together.

In the end we are all doing our best to raise these kids, in this time frame, which that alone is hard enough. Yes, sometimes we just need a little help from our friends, and family and neighbors.

Let’s make a tribe… Our village.

Mom Shaming…

Mom shaming has always been a thing, now that social media is huge it has gotten worse or its just put in the spot light because of social media. Honestly to me I feel like its just another way to bully just with a different word. The thing is what people mom shame for is something that they have done or will do once they become a parent . Some of the things that people are shaming for are ridiculous.

For example Meagan Markle the Duchess of Sussex has been in the spot light for some time since she gave birth to her very handsome son Archie. While I understand that they are royals and people are always watching them, But I think the media needs to settle the EFF down. The newest one right now is that she wasn’t holding Archie right, and she didn’t have a hat on him. GOOD LORD give me a break. While breastfeeding my daughter I dropped my phone on her head. She was perfectly fine, mind you she gave me the dirtiest look but never let go of the nipple!

Mom shaming, Dad shaming, Parent shaming needs to end! like yesterday. I cannot stress this enough parenting is hard and it doesn’t help that other moms or other dads sit there on their high horse pretending like they are better then everyone else.

Okay Jackie I get it you feed your child all the healthy food in the world, great thats YOUR parenting… love it! But if Stacy wants to feed her child something completely different then you… PERFECT! Her child is fed and happy. Why the frick does it matter?? Breastfed or Formula fed or both, THEIR BABY WAS FED!! I don’t care what you do as long as that baby is healthy and happy.

Take Kim Kardashian West for example, She got mom shamed because her daughter was wearing make up? DO y’all know the background to that? Maybe her daughter wants to be just like mommy, Beautiful! So it’s okay to put nail polish on babies and their ears done but heaven forbids her wearing make up?? We have some double standards up in here.

So many parents have pictures of their kids that they want to post on social media, me including. That we are to scared to post… oh the floor isn’t has clean as I would like it, oh my child’s doing something that I know ONE person would frown upon it. Celebes rarely have a choice in the matter of what gets posted or not but they shouldn’t be ashamed of their parenting. Yes they have a whole different life style then us being always in the spot light, but they are human just like us. Why should we stop of sharing our kids crazy moments because Jackie the PTA mom wouldn’t approve. So your child ate a fruit loop that you missed when sweeping, meh they will survive! Clearly tell them dude the 5 second rule was up on that one, but its not the end of the world.

As parents in this crazy world we need to stick together. What happened to the village raising the kids? Clearly that went out the window. Now it’s what that lady struggle in the grocery store while their child is freaking out and judge from afar instead of “Hey hun, let me help” or “I see you! been there hun” Nope we judge that mom that forgot snacks for soccer game because she was juggling so much and simply JUST FORGOT!

Carrie underwood! The amazing singer and song writer got mom shamed for WEARING MAKE UP! She was all dolled up and beautiful like always for her sons soccer game. Apparently thats a no no. Girl be you!

Honestly we are damned if we do and damned if we don’t. No matter what there is someone out there that is not going to approve of your lifestyle or your parenting but its time that we ban together, and put this parent shaming to rest once in for all! I want to know what they all get out of it, shaming someone else for their choices? Where does that get you? You have just become a different type of bully. Worse even. Kids do crazy things thats unavoidable. There is no manual to every single kid. The parenting books don’t tell you that your child will eat dirt or play in the toilet when you aren’t looking. Post those pictures that you feel someone will shame you for and watch a lot of parents be like “HA! Right, Candace did the same thing last week!” because you know what we have all been there or will be there. Even if you try your HARDEST you can’t watch them 24 7 like they are the president. They are sneaky and fast! Like little ninjas.

Girl I see you! we are all in this together!