Anything is fucking possible

If I could go back in time speak to my younger self, just have a cup of coffee with her or in my case when I was younger a blue slushy with sour squirts in it.

I would say…

All those dreams and all those adventures that you want to take, you will, but in a different way. You wont be traveling around the world by yourself, you will be traveling with your beautiful kids and husband who loves you dearly.

Take responsibility for your fuck ups and be truthful about them. Lying gets your no where. Lying its just not worth it.

All those times that you would help others and want something in return, just give and give and give and don’t ever expect anything in return. Treat people that way you want to be treated and those that will do it in return without you asking are the ones that you want in our corner.

You are wild and free, you want to be silly, and make people laugh that does not mean that you are crazy. Be wild and be free!

The world is going to be stressful, there are going to be times where you will think about giving up, don’t my dear. The world is beautiful, you will just have to look at it in a different light.

Be someone who can breathe, and think things through. I know its hard for you. I promise it wont kill you lol Even though you may think it will. When you slow down and think before speaking or think before taking action. It will cause less damage and drama.

Do not waste your time on people that don’t give you the time of day. If you have to constantly start the conversation or constantly ask to hang out with someone, or be the one that’s always putting in the effort. IT IS NOT WORTH IT. Walk the fuck away.

You have the ability to see people for who they are before you get to know them… that feeling you get, that uneasy feeling when you are just standing around people, go with it. That is your gut my dear and that will come in handy when you get older.

You may not see it right now but you are a really good person, you are loyal. I want you to find the courage to be yourself. You will go through all these changes and all these different versions of yourself but don’t ever loose yourself trying to get people to like you. It is not worth it.

Internet mom friends are just as real as the ones in person.

I read a post the other day, it said “internet friends are not real, because you do not see them in person”

My internet mom friends are for sure real, and they are amazing. 

Back in 2009 when I was newly pregnant at 19 and had no idea what I was doing. I was scared and confused and just recently graduated. I turned to mom forums. Baby center was my place to go. At first I was there just to read, I would browse until I got the courage to finally post my introduction. 

When I finally did, it was amazing. All these moms came out of the woodwork. Telling me I was not alone and giving me advice and support left right in center. 

It was amazing, all these moms coming together from all over the world to be there for a complete mom stranger! 

4 kids later I have the most amazing best friends from around the world. We chat every day. About everything, not even just mom stuff. Their support helps me get through the toughest days. Right now more than ever since we cannot go out and hang out, they are here.  In the same boat at home with their crazy little ones just trying to get through the day. 

My internet friends have seen me through my toughest days, they have seen me through my most amazing days and vise versa, I am here for them too. 

On days where the kids are just not listening, they are driving me mental. My husband is at work and I can’t seem to catch a breath. I grab my phone and open the facebook app and tell them and “Girrrlll, same” …. I take a breath. I am not alone. They are here too. 

That virtual hug, that virtual support is enough. It is enough to help me take a step back, it’s enough to help me calm down and realize I am not alone, that other parents are going through the same things and if they are not they are still there to talk me through it because they have been there, or they are just there to listen. 

I need these women. 

It takes a village and they might not be here in person, but they are 100% here for me. These women are my virtual village. 

We all come from different backgrounds, different religions, different parents beliefs and despite all our differences, we are a tight village. 

They get me. They get that I am a little wild. They get that I swear and that’s okay. They don’t judge me if I tell them my son decided to stripe naked and wave to the neighbor, because they all die laughing and tell me their stories about their kids when they did something outrageous. 

Both my friends in person and online are amazing.

 I found my village. I found my people. I have gone through many friends over the years. I struggled with trying to fit in. I don’t need to… I have them.

“If you could change one thing in your life what would it be?”

Someone asked me the other day

“If you could change one thing in your life what would it be?”

I couldn’t give an answer, not because I didn’t have an answer but because every time I thought of an answer then I would think, well if that didn’t happen then I wouldn’t have had this.

We go through life always wanting more. Of course right its human trait, more is better.

When something goes side ways in life, you say “ugh why does this happen to me” and you think your life is just horrible. Which Ill be honest I have done.

This question has me thinking about so many things. Would I really want to change anything?

I am married to a amazing husband who drives me nuts sometimes but I love him to death and hey I am sure I annoy him too.

I have 4 beautiful children, and a roof over my head and food always available. Is my life honestly that bad?

Yes, sometimes bills are late being paid, and Yes, sometimes I put things back on the shelf even though I really want it but the price tag and just a no no.

But then I come home to this amazing family. This family that just keeps me going no matter what.

To answer that question, I would change being more grateful for things. I feel like humanity and lost the real reasons as to why life is worth living. Everything that has happened in your life, has gotten you to where you are today. Has made you a strong person. To with stand anything that comes your way.

Let’s be honest here, I don’t think you would know what happiness was if you didn’t have the lows in your life as well.

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”
― Charles R. Swindoll

Life will throw anything at us, we just need to learn how to deal with it and over come it!


Marriage is not easy.

You wont find the person that you click with on everything, because every single person has a different view.

You wont find a person that is perfect because perfect doesn’t exist.

You wont find a person that has all the same interests as you because we all like different things.

What you will find, is a person that has perfect imperfections just like you.

What you will find, is a person that challenges you in every single way, because when you fight its all about learning how to deal with what is bothering both of you and get through it.

What you will find, is your soul mate that fits YOU perfectly, because your heart finds a person that you know will follow you to the ends of this earth and back.

I watch my husband struggle every day, to go to a job he doesn’t love, but he knows he has to, because he has a family to take care of. I watch my husband struggle when he gets home to stay awake and help me and to see the kids but he is just so tired that he can hardly stay awake. I watch my husband get mad at things really easy because hes struggling to be happy with his job and takes it out on us. I watch my husband struggle because he feels bad for taking it out on us.

Sometimes he will leave for work without giving me a kiss, sometimes I get mad for him not helping me around the house more.
Sometimes he will come home with something for me because he knows I have had a bad day.
Sometimes I just let him sleep because I know he’s had a bad day.

Marriage is not easy

You see your partner going through all this, you see the bad parts of a person, but you also see the good parts. You see them when they are sad, and being so stubborn. You also see them when they are happy and laughing and that laugh just makes you melt and you remember all over again why you married them.

You see them at 2 am, when everyone else is asleep. Talking about your future and what you hope for. You get to see the side of them that no one else does. Sometimes its not pretty and other times its amazing.

It is farting.
It is bad breath.
It is random dances when your favorite songs come on.
It is random I love yous
It is never leaving you even those you have said some nasty things.

It is someone having your back always even those they don’t agree with it. It is supporting someone through every new adventure when they are do scared at doing it, but also very excited about the future.

Marriage is not easy.

It is fighting over stupid things, and realize that it was stupid and holding onto it because you don’t want to admit you were wrong, and then they do something silly that makes your laugh and you realize the fight is just not worth it.

It is falling asleep in each others arms, thinking that their just is not enough time with each other. It is falling asleep not cuddling because you both are just so tired at the end of the day you pass out.

It’s cleaning up their messes, it’s taking care of them when they are sick. It is the dirtiest, hardest, most rewarding thing you can do.

Because at the end of the day, after everything that went on and was crazy, you get to crawl into bed with your best friend, your partner, the most annoying, the weirdest, loving, goofy person that you know.

Marriage is not easy.

But it is the best feeling knowing, that you have someone to Always have your back.