My sweet boy, can we just freeze time.

It has been a really long day. 

The sun was so hot that I was sweating in places that I didn’t even think was possible. 

While I was sitting on my computer, just browsing Facebook. You grabbed your blanket and snuggled up beside me and fell asleep. You told me all you wanted was a hug, so I did, but then you quickly fell asleep. 

You are twitching, you must be having an intense dream. I always wondered what you are dreaming about. Your skin is so soft and your hair smells like sweet lavender from the shampoo. 

My arm is falling asleep but I don’t want to move. I just want to freeze time so we can stay like this forever. 

You are still small… Still small enough to curl up into a ball. Small enough to still fit in my lap. Small enough that I can still call you my baby. 

I am in no hurry to get up, I will just continue to sit here listening to the sound of your breathing. Running my hand through your hair. 

You just seem so peaceful. I am sure there are tons of things that I could be doing, like the dishes or the laundry. I probably should get dinner ready. But I just want to freeze time so we can stay like this forever. 

I know that days are short, and I probably won’t get many more days like this as you get older. At some point, you will be ‘too cool’ for cuddles. So I am going to take this moment in. 

You are growing up so fast, you are doing more things for yourself like a big boy. You no longer need me to tie your shoes, You no longer need me to pick out what you are going to wear that day. 

But right now, in this moment you need me. You need my cuddles. So I will stay here for as long as you need me. I will cuddle you for as long as you sleep. 

My sweet boy, can we just freeze time, so we can stay like this forever.

True meaning behind the popular children’s book “Love you forever”

Growing up one of my favorite books my mom  read to me was

 “love you forever” by Robert munsch.  

This popular book has sold over 15 million copies. 

This book was published in 1986. 

Parents all over the world were singing the beautiful lullaby to their children.

“I love you forever, 

I will like you for always

As long as i’m living

My baby you’ll be” 

Sadly before this became a popular lullaby that parents loved to sing to their children. Robert sang to himself in his head, this lullaby to the still born baby. 

Sadly this was the second still born this couple has had. 

Robert went on saying that singing this song out loud was just way too painful and he honestly couldn’t even share it with his wife. 

Robert dedicated his life to writing children’s books and even worked in orphanages. When the doctors told the couple that they would never be able to have children they were devastated. 

The couple went on and adopted 3 children, Andrew, Julie and Tyya.

Robert said that he created this poem to help himself grieve it was his way of crying. Losing a child is devastating and we all grieve differently. 

The book is about a mother watching her boy grow up. He starts as a baby and then becomes a father himself. While he is growing up his mother becomes old and frail and the roll is reversed. 

Learning the true meaning behind this book gives me a whole new perspective. 

This is such a beautiful tribute to his children that he lost. 

There is no other loss greater than losing a child.

The honesty and pain and love that went into making this book, is probably one of the reasons it is so popular. It is real and it is raw. 

It will forever and always be my favorite book and after learning the true meaning behind it, it became 10 times more meaningful and amazing.

Distant Memories

When I was younger I felt the days went by so slow. Sitting at my desk in school, watching the clock, tick tick tick. Waiting for the bell to ring, then booking it out of the school as fast as I could. 

Summertime, daydreaming when I am finally old enough to do all the things that only adults can do. Daydreaming  by my big willow tree on my farm. It was my favorite place to be. 

Now that I have kids, I want it to slow down. Life seems to be going 100 miles per hour. Like driving in the fast lane with no cars. Never in the slow lane. 

Just busy parenting, keeping the house in order and working. I find myself often just sitting and watching the kids play in the pool. Thinking “Where did the time go?, I swear it was just yesterday they were babies” 

I will be the first to admit that I struggle to stop and smell the roses. I will be in the middle of laundry or dishes and the kids ask to play “Let me just finish these” The dishes and laundry will be there later, your kids grow up so fast. 

A first birthday is so exciting, yet you mourn the fact that your baby is growing up. To be honest for me, it seems to be every birthday. Even with 4 kids you would think that I have learned by now, they do in fact have to grow up. Not stay babies forever, since my oldest is 11. 

The pain of childbirth and holding your new baby in your hands. 

Watching them take their first steps and eating solid foods for the first time. 

No sleep and sore nipples. 

Them exploring the amazing adventures the world has to offer. 

Becomes a distant memory. 

I know I cannot stop time. All we can do is soak it all in because one day, I will miss the house being a mess, I will be sitting in my living room missing the sounds of little feet running in and yelling “Mommy, look what I did” I will miss cutting the crust of the sandwiches. I will miss this. All of this. 

I am going to try my best to take it all in. When my son wants a random hug, I will get down to his level and give him a big hug and hold him there for a minute, even if he squirms. When they ask me to play, I will set down the laundry or dishes and go and play with them. 

Don’t get me wrong I am excited to watch them grow into amazing adults and see where life takes them. — To watch their little personalities grow to be big ones. To see their drive to get their dream jobs. 

I hear people say “Make these the best days of your life!” But I don’t want these to JUST be the best days, I don’t want to be sad when it’s all done and my best days are behind us. Instead I am going to make these days happy and fun and full of life. I want to continue to have the best days when they are older too and have kids themselves. 

I am going to continue to help my children have the best tools to be able to grow up and be respectful, caring adults. 

I am going to have more movie nights with all the fixings, popcorn, chips and candy. 

I am going to put my phone down and computer down and soak in the laughter. 

I am going to make more time for myself and my husband so that we have enough energy to keep up with them. 

I want to look back at these days and remember that I enjoyed every single moment of them being babies and small kids and teenagers. I don’t want to look back and regret that I didn’t put down my phone or laundry to look at what they were doing. 

I want to look back and know that everything I did, helped shape them to be amazing adults. 

Future for our kids

What kind of world do you want for our children?

Our children are our future and their kids as well and so on. 

I know personally, I want the world to be full of life. I want humans to respect the earth and everything that it gives us. 

I want them to grow up knowing that we did everything possible to give them the best ground to live on. The best place to raise their kids. 

But how do we do that, when people continue to disrespect it? Disrespecting nature, that has given us so much. 

Everything is changing around us. We are in the whole new world of staying in our houses and only supposed to go out when it’s really needed. There are no schools and we are trying to teach our kids ourselves. 

Now that there are less people going out, our nature is healing itself from everything that humans have done. Healing itself from pollution. We are seeing more animals come out of hiding because they feel safer. 

Have you ever just sat outside. Closed your eyes and just listened? Listened to the birds singing? Listened to the sounds of the trees blowing? It is such a beautiful sound. 

This is the Walmart plaza parking lot,  My husband does the grass cutting, he has to pick up around 80 gloves.
This is the Walmart plaza parking lot, My husband picked up around 80 gloves, he does the maintenance for this property.

But yet here are some people throwing their gloves everywhere on the ground because it is so easy for them to discard them wherever instead of finding a garbage can or bringing them home and putting them in the garbage. It is disgusting. You are teaching your kids to be disrespectful, to not care. Your kids watch EVERYTHING you do. You need to lead by example and show them to help the planet, not destroy it. 

Go out and do a garden with your children, pick up garbage around your house, in your backyard. Go outside and let them listen to the sounds of nature and ask them to name the things they hear. Talk about how to protect the land they live on. 

Studies have shown that patients in the hospital that can see nature, see trees are more likely to have less pain, and recover faster compared to the ones that don’t. After spending more time outside even an hour have shown 20% better memory performance and attention spans. Trees help us have clean air. Being outside studies have shown that anxiety and depression lowers. 

The thing is nature doesn’t need us to survive, we need nature to survive. The more we just throw our garbage around the less planet we have. Our kids’ future is in our hands. Not just for schooling, not just for teaching them how to cook and clean, but to teach them to respect everything and that includes Earth. 

To my NEIGHBORS

I am really sorry about the noise. 

There was a giant octopus while the kids were looking for treasure in the ocean, but really it was just the pool. 

I am really sorry about the noise.  

There was a dragon invading the castle and the boys had to protect the girls since they were knights and the girls were princesses, but really it was just the dogs and they were on the playground. 

I am really sorry about the noise. 

There was a problem on the spaceship, they were about to crash into a planet, but really the playground was the spaceship. 

I am really sorry about the noise. 

My daughter lost her powers and the other had to search for clues as to why she lost her powers, but really they were just in the backyard searching in the grass. 

I am really sorry about the noise. 

The robbers were trying to take the diamonds in the museum and the police were chasing them, but really my sons were the robbers and my daughters were the police and they were chasing each other around the yard. 

Yes, I am sorry they are loud, but they are happy. They are outside and using their imaginations. My backyard is full of adventures. Adventures that us adults would dream about doing again. No care in the world. No bills to pay. Just constant adventures. 

I want them to stay little forever. So yes, if they are loud for a little bit, I want to continue to hear their laughter, I want to continue to hear their little voices as long as I can, because one day. It will be silent. One day they will be all grown up. Let them be young just a little longer.

Dear laundry,

I have noticed you are always here lurking in the shadows.

You tend to spread throughout the house. 

You are on the floor in the bedrooms.

You are on the floor in the living room. 

Sometimes, and I mean rarely do you actually make it to the basket. 

Sometimes you are clean and end up back in the laundry room. 

You are always losing your sock partner, it’s like you don’t even care.  

I feel like you are using me, to pick you up and clean you. You can’t even be bothered to change yourself to the drier. 

You pile up so quickly, I feel like I can’t breath! 

I feel suffocated! 

I constantly have to fold you and put you away. 

Sometimes I find you hanging halfway out the dresser.

So today I have decided that we are breaking up. 

I am going to enjoy this cup of coffee, while you lay throughout the house.

I’m going to pretend you are not here later and enjoy a glass of wine. 

I am not sorry, I don’t care about your feelings. You clearly don’t care about mine. 

I bid my farewell laundry.

 Today you do not exist! 

SPAGHETTI stuffed peppers

Lately I have been feeling like I am making the same things over and over again. I decided that I wanted to try something really different that I have never made before.

We had left over spaghetti in the fridge from my mothers day dinner and it was amazing. So I wanted to add that to the dinner but to what?

As I am standing in the fridge I saw the peppers and a light bulb went off in my head! Hmmm spaghetti stuffed peppers? Why not!

Cook the spaghetti the way you like it, How we do ours is;

In a large pot of boiling salted water, cook the pasta according to the directions on the package. Drain set aside.

In a large skillet heat up and add some oil, about a teaspoon. Add chopped up onion. Cook the onion until soft. Then stir in garlic. Then add the ground beef. (Or turkey, or chicken) Break up the meat with a wooden spoon. Cook until the meat is no longer pink.

You can even add crushed up tomatoes to this one, that is also good!

Take off the heat and add the cooked pasta.

Take the oil and drizzle on the bottom of the baking sheet. Cut the peppers in half and add them to the baking sheet. Drizzle the peppers with more oil. Put some salt and pepper on top of the peppers. Then fill the peppers with the spaghetti and add some grated cheese on top.

Bake that for 20 minutes, in a preheated oven at 400 and until the cheese has nicely melted on top.

Tasted amazing!! Even more so with a glass of wine !!

Ingredients

Cooking spray, for pan
1/2 lb. spaghetti
4 bell peppers, halved and cored
2 tbsp. olive oil, divided
1/2 large onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 lb. ground beef
1 tsp. dried oregano
salt
pepper
Crushed tomatoes
1/2 c. grated Parmesan
1 1/2 c. shredded mozzarella

Pros and cons of breastfeeding & formula feeding

Well it’s May and it snowed. Yesterday we were all thinking about what to plant in our gardens and today we are shoveling snow. Can we just all say 2020 is a wash? I guess only time can tell.

There are still some controversial debates going around and have been around for many years. Since the internet has been such a big thing for awhile now, these debates have been massive. One of the big ones are breastfeeding vs formula fed.

Let me start off by saying I did both for my kids. My first child I am not sure why I was just not producing enough and had to do both. My second child I was producing a lot, but he was just so hungry I could not keep up with the demand and had to do both. With my last I did a little bit when I found out that he was allergic to dairy products and had to get it out of my system so that he could breastfeed properly without getting and upset tummy.

There are a lot of reasons you choose to do either. You are not able to produce, you feel like formula is too expensive or you need to do both.

There is a lot of breastfed is best and fed is best, but I want to dive into each one and look at their pros and cons.

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Breastfeeding

Pros

Natures natural baby food. If you are able to exclusively breastfeed your child, that is amazing good on you! Breastfeeding is really hard. Cracked nipples, biting and sore boobs come with it. It also comes with the boding experience with your child.

Breast milk comes with the immunity building antibodies. It is believed that scientist have yet to make that exact formula to put into anything else. Breast milk is full of vitamins and protein and fat a perfect blend to help your child grow. This formula helps your baby fight off virus’s and bacteria. Breast milk also helps your child lower the risk of allergies as well. There are some tests saying that it highers your IQ but I know some adults that are extremely smart that have been formula fed and are doing just fine, so I am not 100% behind this one.

There are even some benefits for the mother when breastfeeding. Burning calories it releases hormone Oxycontin. This helps your uterus go back to its normal size. They also say it lowers your risk of breast and ovarian cancer.

It does also save your money. Since you don’t have to buy formula and bottles and nipples.

There is more ease and convenience to breastfeeding. You are able to feed your child anywhere, no need to warm up a bottle or make preparations before leaving the house.

Cons

I know I can hear you saying, there are no cons of breastfeeding but I promise you there are pros and cons to mostly everything.

Some mothers and children just get it right off the bat with breastfeeding and just ease into it like they have been doing it for awhile. There are some that it takes long to master and there might be some barriers in the way that make it difficult to do so.

Issues with milk supply which I did. I had both way too high and way too low. Cracked and sore nipples. I use to cringe when mine would latch it was so painful. The pain level was up there with having 3 c-sections it was terrible.

Adjusting your sleeping schedule to your babies feeding schedule can be difficult, the constant demand of caring for your baby and yourself, it can be extremely challenging.

Your baby is attached to you, all the time. You are the the supplier of food. Woman may feel like they are loosing themselves. Body image, sex life and self-esteem issues.

Right now, more and more stores are making it easier for moms to breastfeed their kids but some places still struggle with that, even more in the work place environment. It can be difficult to still breastfeed in public. When you are at your friends house and they don’t have kids yet, mothers may feel the judgement of it.

Your spouse or partner will not get that bond feeding their child, and the mom may feel the lack for support when it comes to the child in that aspect.

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Formula feeding

Pros

You can buy your supply. A lot of woman including me for my first child you struggle with producing milk, sometimes you may produce a little and some can’t produce any. The convenience of being able to go out and buy more when you run out.

Having time to yourself to get your body back, with the fact that you can make a bottle and get someone to help you feed your child you can have a minute in the shower, or at least brush you hair. You can drink that bottle of wine no problem and just lush yourself.

You don’t have the nipple pain, you may experience some enlargement pain while you body dries up the supply but that will go away in do time.

Your spouse and even your parents will get the shared experience with your child. That amazing closeness and bond that you get when feeding your child, you can share that with your other have. You are able to get some well needed sleep that you longed for.

No lopsided boob. This was a big issue for me when I was breastfeeding. My kids would rather one side over the other and then the nipple pain was more on one side so I tended to use one side over the other, which made one boob bigger than the other.

Those weird pads that you put in your bra, the ones that make you look like you have a third nipple, you wont have to use those because no leaky boob!

Con

It can get expensive. Depending on what type of formula that you want to buy for your child or what type of formula that your child needs. For example for sensitive tummies.

The judgement you might get do to the fact that you are not breastfeeding. Even more so from your parents or your grandparents. When you go out for dinner and you order that glass of wine, people will be looking at you with your baby beside you “wow are you still breastfeeding and drinking” then you tell them “no I formula feed” then the judgement gets worse “how dare you not breastfeed your baby”

You may not burn the calories that you would if you were breastfeeding, with breastfeeding your body helps you do some of the work.

Dishes Dishes Dishes… Okay we all hate doing them, sometimes I feel like just throwing out all the dishes and using paper everything, but yes… washing all the bottles and the nipples and all the things that come along with it that you need to wash.

You know that amazing smell, when you open a coffee can for the first time and it hits you like amazing pot of gold. Yeah that won’t happen with formula the smell alone is just I don’t even know how to explain it. It stinks.

Pro for both

YOUR BABY IS FED!

As a mother finding what is best for both you and your baby is hard. All the judgement and all the info that get’s crammed in your face can be alarming. The right choice is what is best for you and your family. Talk to your doctor or health care provider and talk with your spouse. You shouldn’t have to feel you are alone in making this decision.

Homeschooling

Day 56…

Every week my youngest who is in JK, the teacher will do a student of the week. Who has been working really hard online. Getting all their work done. They get a trophy with their names on it and a “Huge awesome work” from their teachers

Don’t get me wrong I love seeing other little ones working hard, but for me it’s a reminder that mine are struggling.

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Now I do understand that their work is not being marked. This is just to keep their brains fresh. Every time I read it I get a knot in my stomach.

It’s a reminder that I am not doing my 100%. It ‘s a reminder that all these other parents are doing an amazing job at this home schooling thing and I am over here behind.

My son throws a huge tantrum every time he has to do work. Of course why would he want to he’s at home, we don’t do school work at home and even though we have been at this for awhile. He still does not want to do it.

Every now and then he will want to do something, I have done everything I could possible to get him to do it. He is just not feeling it.

Honestly I don’t think any parent has really mastered this. It is knew to everyone. Knew to the parents, knew to the kids, knew to the teachers. This is a big step in learning and we are all struggling.

We have to make sure that we are not getting lost in the due dates, and the marks, and the other parents getting more done then you are. Kids all work at different paces and different emotions. We have to take all this with a grain of salt and day by day.

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Most parents are stressed about all this. Most parents are saying they have no idea what they are doing and trying to do their best. Kids just want to be home and play, not do work.

We are all being forced to be teachers and parents at the same time and kids just don’t understand why they have to because they are not at school.

Take it day by day. If you made it through the day then you did it! If your child did ONE thing on the computer then you did it! They did it!

I think we all need to stop being so hard on ourselves, we need to stop comparing ourselves to other parents and our kids to their kids. We are not all the same.

Keep rocking this mom life, drink some coffee, drink some wine. Rock that shit!

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‘unwanted’ parenting advice

Here you are holding your new bundle of joy. You feel happy, scared and excited and who knows what other emotions are brewing inside you because this is intense. You and your partner just made a tiny little human!

Your new adventure has just began. Wondering what you are going to do, how are you going to raise them. All these new never done before moments.

Let’s be honest you have no idea what you are doing and of course you will get the ‘unwanted’ parenting advice from all different walks of life parents out there.

I wanted to talk about the ones that I received when I had my first baby, heck I still get it after having 4 kids.

Don’t get me wrong some of the advice I received was great, I could use it and other ones were just went completely against what I felt was necessary to have a connection with my child.

So grab your coffee and let’s get started

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1. Don’t hold your baby too much

Your baby was inside your belly for 9 months, then comes out into this huge world, it has no idea what is happening. It’s nice warm comfort zone is gone. You holding your baby, is giving your child that comfort zone. You cannot spoil your baby. The attention you give your baby is the foundation for thriving, emotionally, physically and intellectually!

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2. Treat your child the way they treat you

In other words, they give you attitude, you give it right back. They speak to you in a rude tone you speak back to them in a rude tone. Monkey see Monkey do. You want your child to know what they are doing is wrong. If you come back at them with the same tone or attitude, they will just continue with it. “Well mommy does it so I can” It is a better idea to be a good role model. You want to show them better ways to react to situations that you don’t like. Instead of getting mad when they are frustrating you, say “wow, I really loved that you did what I asked of you even though you were upset”. Get them to talk about why it upset them in the first place, children are just learning how to express themselves in the right manner and we need to teach them the right way.

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3. Spank them when they misbehave

This is one of them that bothered me the most. Your child looks up to you. You are their safe place. You start spanking your child, you are no longer their safe place. At the same time, you are telling your child “we do not hit each other when we disagree with what they are doing” yet you are doing it to them when you don’t like what they are doing. Words. Words are more powerful then a punishment that will scar their self-esteem. If your child refuses to do their school work because they want to play games, then tell them if you refuse to do what I ask then you don’t get to play your games. The one thing that I found worked best for tantrums was just walking away, not only does it help you calm down, it helps them. Giving them some space, when they realize that you are no longer giving them that attention they will calm down and stop what they are doing.

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4. Be a helicopter mom if you want to keep your child safe

This one lately I have been struggling with, because I feel like their is a fine line with over parenting and letting your child figure out life. If you never let your child figure out their own mistakes. You are constantly there hovering over them so they make 0 mistakes, when something comes along and you are not there they will have no idea how to deal with that situation. Tell your child about your experiences as a child, “when I did this, this is what happened, this is how I dealt with it” We are not always going to be around our kids, we need to teach them how to live in the big wide world. So that means, they will fall and get hurt. They will make a mistake. Being a good mom, doesn’t mean you have to be a perfect one. Since that doesn’t exist.

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5. Don’t ever give your child junk food

This means no pizza, no cake, no cupcakes. Not even french fries or burgers.
While eating healthy is very important, but all the time with no cheat days isn’t really practical. What if your child get’s invited over to a friends house for a sleepovers or birthday parties? I personally feel like it would have more of a negative effect on your child’s social and emotion development. You are telling your child that they can’t have these things at birthday parties or gatherings but all the other kids can. They will potentially feel like an outcast. Obviously if your child is allergic to something yes, of course they shouldn’t.
Yes, having your child have healthy food more than junk food is important, but teach your child the difference between junk food and healthy food. Allow your child to eat junk food in moderation. Show your child that healthy foods can be just as fun and inviting.

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6. ‘Cry it out method’ is best

“This will help them learn to be more independent”

“This will help mold their lungs”

There has been studies that have proven that this can have a negative impact on your child. One study shown that your child would become more dependent on you. Your child just cried himself / herself to sleep, which means they tired themselves out from crying and gave up hope thinking that you will be coming back in. Hearing this one goes against everything that I believed in. Knowing that my baby just gave up on their comfort zone.
What we did for this one was, we waited till they were at least 6 months old and could sleep through the night to change them over to the crib in their own rooms. As for transferring your child to a toddler bed and they keep getting out. What we did was sat outside the bedroom door. Every time they would get out. I would put them back in reassuring that I was there but it is bedtime this is where you sleep now. Showing your child that no matter what you will always be there is key. Letting them know that it is bedtime but you promise to me there when they wake up.

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Note:
These are just my opinions on how I feel about the advice I was given. Get your own opinion on each one. Take the advice with a grain of salt. Some things may work for one family but they may not work for all.

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Most important love you baby with all your heart. Show them all the love you can give them. Enjoy this new adventure. Days will be harder then others but you have got this!