My sweet boy, can we just freeze time.

It has been a really long day. 

The sun was so hot that I was sweating in places that I didn’t even think was possible. 

While I was sitting on my computer, just browsing Facebook. You grabbed your blanket and snuggled up beside me and fell asleep. You told me all you wanted was a hug, so I did, but then you quickly fell asleep. 

You are twitching, you must be having an intense dream. I always wondered what you are dreaming about. Your skin is so soft and your hair smells like sweet lavender from the shampoo. 

My arm is falling asleep but I don’t want to move. I just want to freeze time so we can stay like this forever. 

You are still small… Still small enough to curl up into a ball. Small enough to still fit in my lap. Small enough that I can still call you my baby. 

I am in no hurry to get up, I will just continue to sit here listening to the sound of your breathing. Running my hand through your hair. 

You just seem so peaceful. I am sure there are tons of things that I could be doing, like the dishes or the laundry. I probably should get dinner ready. But I just want to freeze time so we can stay like this forever. 

I know that days are short, and I probably won’t get many more days like this as you get older. At some point, you will be ‘too cool’ for cuddles. So I am going to take this moment in. 

You are growing up so fast, you are doing more things for yourself like a big boy. You no longer need me to tie your shoes, You no longer need me to pick out what you are going to wear that day. 

But right now, in this moment you need me. You need my cuddles. So I will stay here for as long as you need me. I will cuddle you for as long as you sleep. 

My sweet boy, can we just freeze time, so we can stay like this forever.

My daughter is a tween and I am struggling

I am struggling these days to come to the realization that my beautiful baby girl is no longer a baby… but a tween. 

Every now and then I get a glimpse of the little girl she once was. I am struggling to know when to come in and when to step back and let her find her way. 

I miss playing with her hair, putting them in cute little braided pigtails. I still ask if I can do her hair but I get “I got it mom” 

I just feel like I blinked and Mommy, became mom. 

She is still not a teenager, but yet I get the rolling of the eyes, the dragging feet and the big huge signs. 

She is not a little girl anymore, but sometimes she still loves to pretend and play with her LOL dolls on the rare occasion but they are mostly collecting dust on display. 

She no longer needs me like she used to, she doesn’t rely on me to tie her shoes or fix her shirt. 

During this new phase of life, she won’t need me for the little things but she will need me for the bigger things. 

The idea of her growing up scares me and changing scares the shit out of me. 

I remember the first time she crawled and the first time she walked, all her firsts I was there to help her along the way. Now when she accomplishes something or does a new first, I will still be there to cheer her on, she just won’t need my help like she used too. 

When I hear people say “Wow she is just like you” It makes me feel warm inside but yet a little scared. I was a wild child. So carefree. I let the world just take me in the wind. As much as I learnt my lessons along the way. I am scared for her. I want to do everything in my power to protect her from what life will bring her but yet I know I know I need to let go of the sails and let her take over. 

I am just not ready, I feel it is too soon. I remember like it was yesterday when they handed me this cute little chubby girl wrapped in a pink little blanket. 

For now she still waits for me to come in and kiss her goodnight, for now she still sits on the counter while I am making dinner, which was her telling me all her barbie names now she talks about what’s going on in the YouTube word and her live streams but I will take it. I will take in every single moment of it, because one day, that spot on the counter will be empty. 

Let them enjoy it just a little longer

Happy Halloween everyone!!

Every year on Halloween it rains, or snows… I honestly cant remember the last time the weather didn’t suck! But the kids were troopers and went to several houses before I called it. As a mom I couldn’t let them be out to long in the rain and cold. My oldest who is 10 was so mad, but I said that I didn’t want to them get sick plus I was so cold!

While I was out enjoying my kids run around like crazy crack heads wanting candy plus looking super cute doing it. There was a lot of colder kids going to doors. It didn’t bother me one bit! I can’t say that for some other parents that I past.

“Wow they are way to old to be trick or treating” “Save the candy for the younger ones” Mind you none of the older kids were pushy, they waiting for my kids to go up to the door first. Never was rude or said some obnoxious teen things.

As parents we all have been there and said “I never want my kids to grow up” “I wish they could stay young forever” but then we complain when the older kids want to hold on to their childhood? I don’t have any full on teens yet, my oldest is still a teenie bopper, but I remember being a teen, not going to tell you how long ago we just don’t need to go there. I remember some days I was just plain lazy, I didn’t want to do much. Plus I was around a lot of other teens that video games and just being inside was the best thing to do at that age. So when I see teenagers outside enjoying themselves I am going to praise them! I am going to be so happy for their parents that those teens are out holding on to every last bit of their childhood they possibly can because let face it. They grow up way to fast!

These teens took the time to find a costume, buy or make one. So yes let them have some candy too. Let them stay young for just a little bit longer because before we know it, they will be off to collage and only come home for the big holidays, like thanksgiving and Christmas. Teens are so scared of being judged and let down at that stage so you telling them they cant trick or treat because you’re scared your child wont get enough candy? Seems like a silly thing to be worried about since, hunny we know you are going to eat most of their candy anyways because “Parent tax”

So let them enjoy the last bit of childhood, and hey enjoy it with them if they let you come out, because we stop being cool to be around after awhile. Soak it up! Maybe they will even let you take some pictures but lets not hold our breath on that one.

When you see a teenager out trick or treating or even outside playing in fresh air instead of hiding in their bed rooms, smile because its a beautiful damn thing!