My first 2 kids’ father and I are no longer together. It would be an understatement if I said it was stressful… It is so stressful.
At the time my daughter was 2 and my son was 1.
I know with every being that it was the right thing to do, for us to no longer be together. For us and for the kids. It took me awhile to come to this realization and I tried. I tried to make it work because I wanted it to work. I grew up thinking that once you have kids with someone you are supposed to stay with that someone forever. That was your partner to do it all. Unfortunately it didn’t work out that way.
Along the way I have learned a few things with this crazy journey;
- The kids no longer have to witness our fighting
I did my best to not fight in front of them. Sometimes in situations it was unavoidable. We clashed at almost everything. We never agreed on anything. No communication whatsoever. It was a very bad environment to raise children. So much tension in the air that I know they could feel it.
- The kids can see people, can get along after not being together.
My ex and I tolerate each other. For the lack of a better way of saying it. We are able to go to the kids schooling events and sporting events. That is a very special thing the kids have. They love that we are both there. The kids are one thing that we have in common and they are important to both of us.
- They spend a lot more time with their father.
When my ex and I were together it was always me that did everything, I took them to the beach, to the park, I played with them outside. My ex went to work. It was always just the 3 of us. Now that they go to their dads during the scheduled time. They are with him. I am not there for them to ask to do all the things he is. He makes the rules for them at his place, puts them to bed. The kids get to see both parents and both parents are raising them.
Co – parenting is not easy. It is one of the hardest things possible. Trying to raise kids in different houses, different rules, but as the kids get older and we get older I am hoping that it will just fully become a routine and smooth. Despite everything that is happening and the fact that me and their father are no longer together, the kids are doing okay. They are strong. I know that we can all get through this together.