Elf on the shelf

It is almost that time… that time of the year…the time I am super excited for and probably more excited then my kids!

ELF ON THE SHELF!

I probably kick myself in the butt but I try to do something crazy and different each time I change his spot. Our Elf on the shelf is called ‘Steve’ Don’t ask I have no idea why they came up with that name, but it stuck. Honestly I like it better then Sparkle or some sort of Elf name lol It’s just super random.

Here are some idea’s that I used for Steve, you are welcome to use some of these ideas!! I know that coming up with ideas are hard!

Drawing on the Bananas
Zip lining
X’s and O’s
Spider man
Reindeer poop!
Santa Hat’s on the pictures
Steve in space!
Camping
The Floor is Lava!

What ever you do have fun with it! Channel your inner child and go wild!!

Let them believe in Santa

As it gets close to Christmas, all my kids can talk about is Santa. The excitement just fills the house, and of our Elf on the shelf Steve.

Christmas is one of my favorite holidays, the lights, the food and the love that just fills the house, makes me all warm inside.

Some things have come to my attention about letting your kids believe in that jolly ol’ man that is dressed in red. Some parents are questioning if they should tell that little white lie to their kids about Santa being real or not.

My opinion: Yes. Because why the hell not??? Not only is it just amazing to see the magic on their faces when they see him, or hear about him or see presents just appear and magic all around them but it also helps them with their imagination and helps with their emotional development and conjunctive development.

When you child wakes up and sees that Elf on the shelf in different spots, they use their minds to figure out how did it get there? Or be so excited to go to bed because they cant wait to see what crazy nonsense “Steve” will be up to tomorrow. It makes them happy and hearts full, as well as mine.

Why should we be the ones to break the news, instead of them using their beautiful minds to figure it out on their own time line… As the kids get older yes they will get less and less amused by all of it and start to realize that Santa is not a magickal being and more that its your parents love for you that kept him alive for so long to see their excitement, but until that day comes, let them believe!

When you put out those cookies with your kids and Santa eats them or you write “From Santa” on the presents in your own handwriting once your kids begin to doubt that their is a Santa they start to become detectives and put their heads together to find clues and brainstorm together or even do experiments by setting traps for Santa they become little scientists.

Let your kids figure it ourselves, I promise you it is way less heart breaking then you just bringing it up one day saying “Hey kid he is not real” It is way more exciting to them that they know, that they can be “in on the secret” and feel like they are growing up, because that’s all kids want to do is grow up one day, but grow up on their own terms.

In the end the whole family wins, not only do you get to be a kid all over again and use your imagination and fun to get them thinking and to also live in your childhood, they also enjoy it by using their imagination, and figuring life out on their own.

Let your kids grow up on their own, don’t push it… because they grow up way to fast, so hold on to what you can.

What I wish I heard before I was pregnant

“You will have a beautiful glow, and love every minute of it”

At this point I am expecting an amazing experience… what could go wrong right?? No pain, I hold my pee when I sneeze… not

Don’t get me wrong, I am forever grateful that I made a human being inside me, and I love them to death.. and I am sure there are people out their that loved their pregnancies.. but for me I wish someone told me a few more things about it… honestly

Just Eat

When I was pregnant I craved subs… all of the meat plus anything sour, and guess what I.ate.all.the.things. Don’t get me wrong I felt guilty that I was not eating more healthy, but guess what happened?? I gave birth to 3 healthy little bumbinos. Yep, 10 fingers, 10 toes. Cutest little button noses. Perfectly healthy. So girl you have a craving dig in!!

Park that butt if you want to!

I get it, there is so much to be done before the baby comes or you want to get that pile of work on your desk done, the house is a friggin mess… but hey, you earned this, you are creating a human being inside you, your body is already working over time. Take that well-earned break that you need. Sit down, eat all the things and relax.

Hand me downs are okay!

It is your first baby you want to buy all new clothes. You want your baby looking amazing in everything he or she wears. Guess what second hand clothes are amazing and I promise you a lot of it are brand name! Babies grow so fast and they will continue doing that. Like bad weeds in the garden.

You need help? Ask for it!

Do not feel guilty because you need an extra hand! Parenting is not easy, I promise you that. It is really hard being a first time mom, heck even a second or third time mom its hard. It takes a village to help raise the children, ask for help when you need it. Your feet hurt, your back hurts, everything is friggin hurts. That’s what family and friends are for.

Sexy Time!

A girls got needs. I get it you don’t like the way your body looks. Trust me neither did I. Plus sometimes I was so tired I couldn’t even get up off the couch. If you are feeling it, go for it and no, your husband will not poke the baby in eye… even though some of them might say that. Feeling that connection with your Significant other is amazing.

Where what you feel comfortable in

You want to wear those sleep pants.. do it You want to wear track pants do it. You want to splurge on maternity clothes GO FOR IT. You are already feeling extremely uncomfortable in your body why would you make it worse by wearing something that just isn’t right. DO YOU!

Pregnancy might not be the most pleasant thing in the world, or maybe you will enjoy every minute of it, we are all different. But one thing I know is that once you are holding that beautiful baby in your arms all the things that happened will just go away, the minute you see that face!

I Suck at being a friend right now

It’s almost the afternoon here and I am freezing. It’s a cold winter day, and I and curled up with a blanket and a cup of warm coffee.

I have something on my mind and what better way then to blog about it.

I suck at being a friend right now.

I remember when I was younger I had all this free time to do whatever, “Hey want to come over?” “Sure!” I could stay out as late as my parents would let me, and just have fun with nothing holding me back, relaxed and care free.

A friend will message me and saw remember when, or tag me in a photo of the old times and I could see the smile on our faces or they ask if I want to do something. Of course now its more let me check my scheduled. Between school things, and sports and birthday parties and everything but the kitchen sink my time is extremely limited.

I feel guilt rushing through me, because sometimes it takes me awhile to reply, oh I will get to that when I get home… but then life gets in the way.

As a parent of young children, 4 of them it just tends to get a little crazy around here. If I am not getting children dressed, changed, fed, bathed. I am doing the mounds of laundry, the dishes, errands, appointments, running around getting them to sporting events, quality time with them. There is always the time where you are about to sit down at the computer and someone wants you to draw with them, play with them, so you get back up and be with them.

Not only all that, then exhaustion kicks in once the day it over… there is still stuff that needs to be done around the house but you used all your left over energy to get that cranky, over tired toddler into bed. Raising tiny little humans to be well mannered, amazing adults one day is a full time job on its own.

By the time i can finally sit down and answer these messages, they are short and trying to make plans to see someone, that it has to be within my schedule its just hard. “Can you come over and hang out here?” “Would it be okay if we hang out after 12, because dropping off the kids at school then I have some running around to do” “Would it be okay, if we went somewhere near the house so that I can still be home to put the kids to bed?”

The thing is when we finally do hang out, I am frazzled thinking of all the things that I just didn’t get done today, or I am already yawning and so tired because I am finally relaxing that my body is just taking over.

I just want to say that I am sorry… I am sorry that I am not a good friend right now, but I promise you that it wont last.

I am buried in deep sand of this parenting thing, who need me for a lot right now, because they are all still young. But this stage in life wont last forever.

One day they wont need me as much, they grow up so fast and I just don’t want to miss anything, or mess anything up. One day the will be able to make their own breakfast, be able to get themselves off to school.

As crazy as I sound, I want to hold on to what time I have left of it. Time goes by faster then we think, and I want to be there for most of the things that they do. I want to be there to raise then to be amazing adults one day. I want to remember their tiny little voices. I want to soak up in as much of it as I can.

One day I will have more time on my hands. I will eventually know how to balance it all. One day I will be able to get more sleep at night, a better sleep at night so I wont be so tired. So I promise I will be come a better friend. I will be the good friend that I want to be, and the good friend that I am.

I am still here, no matter what and I value our friendship so much. When you do message me or text me, or ask to hang out… I will respond. Just be patient with me.

If you can hang on just a little longer, ill be there… I promise.

“If you could change one thing in your life what would it be?”

Someone asked me the other day

“If you could change one thing in your life what would it be?”

I couldn’t give an answer, not because I didn’t have an answer but because every time I thought of an answer then I would think, well if that didn’t happen then I wouldn’t have had this.

We go through life always wanting more. Of course right its human trait, more is better.

When something goes side ways in life, you say “ugh why does this happen to me” and you think your life is just horrible. Which Ill be honest I have done.

This question has me thinking about so many things. Would I really want to change anything?

I am married to a amazing husband who drives me nuts sometimes but I love him to death and hey I am sure I annoy him too.

I have 4 beautiful children, and a roof over my head and food always available. Is my life honestly that bad?

Yes, sometimes bills are late being paid, and Yes, sometimes I put things back on the shelf even though I really want it but the price tag and just a no no.

But then I come home to this amazing family. This family that just keeps me going no matter what.

To answer that question, I would change being more grateful for things. I feel like humanity and lost the real reasons as to why life is worth living. Everything that has happened in your life, has gotten you to where you are today. Has made you a strong person. To with stand anything that comes your way.

Let’s be honest here, I don’t think you would know what happiness was if you didn’t have the lows in your life as well.

“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”
― Charles R. Swindoll

Life will throw anything at us, we just need to learn how to deal with it and over come it!

MISCARRIAGE your pain matters

I was 8 weeks pregnant, I heard the heart beat. I was told the heart beat looked amazing.. so why was I bleeding? Why was I in so much pain if everything looked okay. so why did I loose my baby.. if everything was okay?

The feeling of loosing a baby, no matter how far along you are. No matter how ‘formed’ the baby was is the most wrenching feeling a woman will ever go through. Going back over everything that you did once you found out you were pregnant trying to put everything together as to why this has happened. As to why my body failed me.

This is not a feeling that will ever go away, it is something that a woman will forever live with. Will forever think about.

While we are dealing with this pain. This horrible worse then heart broken. We don’t want to hear.

“Well at least it was early”
“Well I guess it just wasn’t meant to be”
“Well you can always try again”
“Everything happens for a reason”
“At least you werent THAT pregnant”
“You are so young you can try again”

It doesn’t matter if you were 6 weeks
It doesn’t matter if you were 12 weeks
It doesn’t matter if you were 16 weeks
It doesn’t matter if you were 20+ weeks

Your grief matters, Your pain matters, your tears matter, YOU matter.

I felt ashamed, I felt like a failure. No matter how much support you get from family or from friends, from your partner, the pain it just unbearable.

No it was NOT your fault.
No you do NOT need to get over it.

I just want you to know, that you ARE a Mama. You will never stop thinking and cherishing the life that you carried. No matter how hard or how difficult your journey is, please don’t feel guilty. You will forever spend your life wondering the details. What would the baby look like, would it have been a boy or a girl. Would it look like mommy or daddy. That’s normal, that’s natural. You feeling this way goes to show you how tender and loving your heart is.

I promise you, you’re not alone! Don’t be scared to talk about it constantly when you are feeling sad. You CAN do this!

Motherhood & Anxiety

I am a mom with anxiety.
No, I can’t just shut it off, No I can’t just wake up one day and it just go away.

Anxiety isn’t something that we can pick and choose what days we have it and what days we don’t.

It is not a choice.

Some days we can have the best day, we are free from it and everything is great. Some days it just creeps up on us unexpectedly and we are just left to deal with it.

We can’t just choose to be happy, or chill out when it is happening, its just not that easy, not that simple.

You will never know how it truly feels to be someone with anxiety unless you full on walk in our shoes. You will never know how it feels to be hit with darkness in the middle of something that should bring happiness, but you remembered something and it just hits you like a tons of bricks.

So before you come at us and tell us “to just chill out” please remember that anxiety is a mental illness. It is not a cold that we can just get rid of in a few days or weeks. It is not a cry for attention.

If we had a choice to not have this cloud over our heads we would. If we had a choice and could stop it from happening we would. Trust me, we would “chill out” if it were that easy.

There are so many things that I get triggered with, that just send me in a down word spiral. Which I tend to just hold in and let it unload on my husband.

Am I doing this right?
Most the time I have no idea what I am doing, I have been a mother for 10 years now and I am constantly learning new things. How do I know if the decisions that I am making are the right ones? Which bottle do I use? Crib? Co-sleeping? What foods?
what doesn’t help is everyone else shoving opinions at you like its confetti and you have no idea who is right or wrong?

  • When you think this way, remember… There is no right or wrong when it comes to parenting. Everyone has different opinions they are going to be coming at you left right and center. It is your life. Keep being you!

Is my baby / Child okay?
How do I know that everything is okay? there is a new bump? or they are not walking yet? Why are they talking yet? They are not hitting all their milestones when they should be?

  • When you become a mother you get this thing call mothers intuition, trust that because its rarely wrong. If you are having concerns about something contact your doctor to make sure nothing is wrong.

Mom guilt at its finest
Am I spending enough time with them? I spent a little to much time on my phone will that effect them? I am not buying all the cool toys that are in right now is that bad? Am I handling it right when they have tantrums?

  • I promise you, you are enough! All they want is you. Anytime that you spend with them is enough. They know that you love them. They know that you will always be there.

Comparing myself to others
Well Nancy feeds all her kids organic foods should I?
Those kids are dressed better with all name brand clothes and some of my kids are hand me downs is that bad?
They go on fancy trips and have all the neat outdoor climbers am I not giving them their best life?

  • Social media can be the devil… most of the time everyone is posting just the fun parts of their life and never the negatives. Focus on you and your family and nothing else.

There is just not enough time, they grow up so fast
I feel so guilty when I have those days that have just been so long that I am counting down till it is bed time… but they grow up so fast. Does that make me a bad mom?

  • Counting down the time till bedtime doesn’t make you a bad mom, it makes you human. Motherhood is intense and some days we just need a minute and that’s okay!

So before you come at someone with anxiety and tell them to “chill out” Maybe sit down with them and ask them what is going on. Be a listening ear and let them know “Hey I have those fears too” Let them know that you are there no matter what. Don’t make them sound like they are crazy for something that they cannot help.

Let’s do our best and leave the guilt behind and let’s do our bed to make sure to let someone know that you are there no matter what.

Our Tribe… Our Village

I am going to be complete honest here, which I am in all my blog post. I will be the first one to let your child know they are being an ass. Well not in those words but I would tell your child the way he or she is being is not cool.

If I see your child bullying another child or my child I will let them know what is what, and that their behavior is not okay.

If your child went outside without a coat on, I would tell them to put on a coat and make smart choices.

If your child is struggling with something and I notice I will ask them what is wrong and I will be a shoulder to lean on.

If you and your child are fighting, even if its a silly fight but they feel strongly about, I will tell them to come over and be here to give you and them some space.

Why? Because it takes a village to raise the kids.

Once upon a time it was OKAY for other people to correct your kids behavior.

Once upon a time it was OKAY for other people to give a lending hand when you are not around in that moment and they are.

Once upon a time it was OKAY for other people to be there for your kids when your kids are having a tough time with you.

If my kids are being jackasses and I am not around, I want you to be able to let them know whats what and that behavior is not okay!

This isn’t about parenting other peoples kids. I am not here to take your place. Trust me 4 kids is enough for me over here. It is about us raising our future together, its about us making sure that there is a future. It’s about us raising our kids to be one day well behaved adults. This is not me bulling your child when they are doing something wrong, this is me helping.

Yes, everyone helping each other raise the kids, is a little odd to some, but that never was the case back then. Some how it got lost in translation as we grew up. I personally think that we should go back to those ways. Because yes we cant be around our kids 24 7 but other people are. Other moms are. So why can’t we all stick together and raise our kids together.

In the end we are all doing our best to raise these kids, in this time frame, which that alone is hard enough. Yes, sometimes we just need a little help from our friends, and family and neighbors.

Let’s make a tribe… Our village.

Meditation during pregnancy

During pregnancy you have so many things to worry about, the fact that you are about to bring this beautiful baby into this world. All the things that you need to get ready, prepare for. We all tend to forget about ourselves. It is important that during all this crazy chaos of bringing a baby in the world that you take time for yourself.

Meditation has so many benefits for your body and even your mind. Meditation can be used before pregnancy, during and even after But today I will talk about Pregnancy Meditation.

One of the top things your doctor will tell you is listen to your body, and if you are anything like me you answer with “How?”
Meditation will help you listen to your body, relax your mind, and listen to that small heart beat.

There are tons of benefits of practicing Meditation:

  • It can help you reduce stress
  • Helps control anxiety
  • Helps with emotional health
  • Helps with self-awareness
  • Helps keep you focused
  • Helps improve sleep
  • Helps control pain
  • Can decrease blood pressure

Finding a comfortable position is important

You may have been doing meditation for awhile, or maybe you are a newbie. As your belly grows finding a way to be comfortable is difficult regardless. Meditation is best done sitting up right, but sometimes it is very difficult to do even more so when you are in your third trimester. Don’t stress to much about the way you are doing it, the most important thing is find a way to be comfortable to do your meditation. I found the best way to do this was laying down on my side, with a pillow between my legs.

Focus on your beautiful bump

Mama you are growing a human inside you, focus all your energy to what is going on inside your belly. Try some deep belly breathing techniques. Breath in and out slowly, deep inside your belly. Start shorter periods at first and the more you do it, go a little longer each time. Start at 3 minutes.

The waves of a beautiful ocean

So during pregnancy, and even during labor this one can really help. Sometimes you can get braxton hicks contractions during your pregnancy, these are ‘fake contractions’ these can really hurt. So one meditation technique is to pretend each contraction is waves coming in and out. Visualize a way coming in when it hits the peak of the pain, breath in and then when the pain is subsiding, picture the wave going back out, and breath out.

Humming a tune to your baby

During pregnancy we start to think of all the things that could happen, or all the things that we just don’t understand and we start to over think everything. When should I pack my hospital bag, when should I start thinking about the baby room, what names are we going to pick. Why am I having this pain, what is this pain. Our minds start going a mile a minute. We all know that famous “Hum” sound during meditation and some people find it very silly. Personally I think its the best thing to do when you’re lost in thought. It helps you clear your mind and focus on the sound of your voice and nothing else. So instead of thinking it is some weird thing you are saying while sitting there, think of it as you humming a tune to your baby. Find your comfortable spot, and hummmm to your baby. Focus all your thoughts on the sound of your voice and visualize your baby hearing your beautiful voice.

Concept Meditation [Find your happy place]

So you just bought a crib and change table set and the instructions are all crazy you and your husband can’t figure out what is even going on. You start to argue and stress levels just start going through the roof. Here is what you do to calm yourself down. Hey! even let your husband join in! This could also benefit him as well. Find your happy place. Think of the place that you love the most, for example you are in a rain forest, all you hear is the rain coming down and the animals making their beautiful music. Focus on the sound of the rain and the trees blowing in the wind. Ignore all outside noises and just breath. Continue this till you feel your stress levels come down and start that crib and change table in a different mind set.

Let’s get grounded

No I don’t mean I am going to send you to your room for 5 minutes so you can think about your actions. I mean get up and start walking. No only does this help you prepare your mind but it also helps prepare your body for labor. Choose a good place to concentrate on your breathing and pace. Pay attention to your steps and the feeling of the floor or carpet and maybe even the grass between your toes or even your feet on the beach in the sand or water.



If you have any concerns please talk to your doctor before trying meditation.

Meditation can help in so many ways, if you are not comfortable doing them alone, maybe try and join a meditation class! I promise you, that you wont be disappointed in the results of meditation. Even continue after you have the baby.

I hope this will help you have a happier and healthier experience during your pregnancy!

Dear Husband,

Sometimes I feel like you get the worst of me.
Sometimes I feel like you might not recognize me anymore.

By the time you get home, I am beyond frustrated with the kids. With them not listening, hitting me, making messes that I am constantly picking up or telling them to pick up. Sometimes I am mad at myself because I didn’t get all the things I wanted to get done for the day. Honestly there just is not enough time in the day. Sometimes I am so frustrated and upset that if I don’t let it out when you get home i might explode. For that I am sorry, you become my target.

You come home from a long day at work, providing for us, at a job that your boss is just so frustrating and you come home to me upset, and mad and storming around. Come home to me demanding the kids go to you instead of me. You come home to me almost in tears because I have tried my best to get the house clean.

When they finally get to sleep, I am running around trying to get the things done that I was just not able to when they were awake, because they are constantly asking me to do this, open this, can you look at this. I get your lunches ready for work, and I get our dinner ready if you came home late. You do your best to stay awake when I try and get the last minute things done so that I am able to some what sleep without stressing that I missed something.

When I finally get to lay down and just close my eyes you try and cuddle and I jerk away “I just need to not be touched for one minute so I can fall asleep”

Or when you call and you are on your way home and you nicely ask “Babe do we need anything?” and I answer the question in a angry tone because I just can’t hold in my frustrations of our son demanding that I hold him while I try and get things done.

You ask me nicely “whats for dinner” and I snap “I have no idea, I will figure it out” When just before you asked me I had to deal with our son asking 2390482039482 times whats for dinner and my frustrations just got sent to you.

I don’t mean to, but you often get the worst of me, the left overs of my very frustrating day. Because honestly all my patience and strength has been used up by the kids. Because honestly motherhood uses so much of my time, and of my brain that I have no idea how to even shut it off at this point and it leaves me with nothing else for anyone else.

But you will always be the one that I loved first. I know you are worried to come home because you dont know what kind of mood I will be in, but if you continue to love me and I love you, showing our kids that we love each other no matter what, will give our kids a sense of security.

So I promise I will do my best to leave room for you at the end of the day, I will do my best to leave some joy and love and patience.

By the time you get home sometimes my affection is just spent. From giving hugs and kisses, and talking to the kids about how their day went. Make sure all of them are doing good. That by the time you get it, I just dont feel like being touched, I just need a minute without human contact. Please dont give up on me, I need you so much, I need your kisses and affection too.

I am sorry that you get snapped on because I have held it in so much during the day so that I don’t blow up on the kids, that you end up getting the snarky comments. So please continue to love me no matter what.

I do think it is time we get some alone time, some time away, what do you think?

I know sometimes, I bottle things up and take the world on my shoulders and I know that you are here to take some of that burden. But please know that I couldn’t do any of this without you.

Watching you ever day, play with the kids, Hold our son for the first time and the love in your eyes every day. You keep me grounded. You keep me from completely loosing my mind at the end of the day because I know no matter what you will walk through those doors, and I feel like I can breath again… I count down till the time you walk through those doors.

So I know that you don’t always get the best of me, but I hope that you will always remember that I loved you first and always will.