Sometimes I miss my life before kids

Before you throw your “How dare you” listen anyone who knows me personally knows that I would do anything for my children. Honestly anything. But sometimes I feel like running away, sometimes I just feel so tired and alone.

Parenting is amazing and crazy and exhilarating all at the same time, knowing that you made the future doctors, nurses, firefighters, vets, plumbers, carpenters, landscapers.

At the same time it can be exhausting. Which I know we all feel guilty about feeling that way.

We all don’t want to talk about this part of parenting. We are all scared of being judged Or being told that we are ungrateful. I am raising these 4 beautiful children. I get the pleasure of doing this!

Honestly we all have thought this, or you will at some point. You feel like you can’t go anywhere just you. You’ll feel trapped, Always having someone there 24 7 depending on you. Sometimes I feel like I can’t be my best self because I am always tired or missing my freedom.

I miss being able to just leave the house without having to get ready 2 hours before leaving because you know the kids will take that long. I miss being able to be like “I will take a nap” or binge watch my favourite show without someone asking 29038402398423 questions.

My husband and I never have a moments peace together, and when we do we are both so tired that we can barely stay awake for a full movie. Pretty sure we watch the same movie over again because we are never able to finish it. I wonder what kind of couple we would be without kids? What would we do? Where would we be? Not sure we know each other on that level anymore.

Sometimes I feel like I don’t even remember who I was before kids. I love being a mom. But I miss being able to just say I need to get my eyebrows done and book an appointment and just go, not have to worry about maybe that money can go towards the kids, or what if the kids have something going on that day and have to schedule myself around them.

When my husband and I on a rare occasion get to go out just the 2 of us, we feel guilty that we are watching a movie, or eating in a restaurant because we know the kids would enjoy being here too.

One day the kids will be older and doing things on their own and I know that I am forever going to worry about them.

The point is, that you’re not alone, its okay to take that me time, it’s okay to feel like you don’t have it all together, its okay to miss those parts of you, it’s okay for you and your husband to go on the date!

We need to be okay with admitting those parts of parenting

You’re not a bad mom or dad for feeling this way, sometimes all this is really really hard.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s